Month: May 2012

Love Changes Everything….

I went to The Pops tonight and came home singing this song….

I love the lyrics and the depth of truth that resonates within it.

I have a few favorite lines…

Love,
Love changes everything:
How you live and

How you die

Having worked for Hospice, I find this line to be so true. It is my prayer for everyone, that we may be loved well in our living and in our dying….

And the other favorite part, which I find so true is:

Love,
Love changes everything:
Pain is deeper
Than before.

It feels odd to me that the more I love the more I feel pain.  I spent a lot of years dead to my heart. I was proud of that fact that I felt very little. My heart was awakened by beautiful people who loved me well. When my heart work up, I felt love and I felt pain and I began to realize the truth of the words in this beautiful song. I am thankful for love that awakened me to pain and never ever let me be the same!

Love,
Love changes everything:
Hands and faces,
Earth and sky,
Love,
Love changes everything:
How you live and
How you die

Love
Can make the summer fly,
Or a night
Seem like a lifetime.

Yes, Love,
Love changes everything:
Now I tremble
At your name.
Nothing in the
World will ever
Be the same.

Love,
Love changes everything:
Days are longer,
Words mean more.
Love,
Love changes everything:
Pain is deeper
Than before.

Love
Will turn your world around,
And that world
Will last for ever.

Yes, Love,
Love changes everything,
Brings you glory,
Brings you shame.
Nothing in the
World will ever
Be the same.

Off
Into the world we go,
Planning futures,
Shaping years.
Love,
Bursts in, and suddenly
All our wisdom
Disappears.

Love
Makes fools of everyone:
All the rules
We make are broken.

Yes, Love,
Love changes everyone.
Live or perish
In its flame.
Love will never,
Never let you
Be the same.

And in my office, on our wall, I have the quote: Person to person, moment to moment, as we love, we change the world. Samahria Lyte Kaufman

Somehow it all really seems to go together!

Go and love boldly!

What song are you singing….

My niece Olivia posted this quote today and it made me smile.

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. Voltaire

I began to wonder about my shipwreck and my song. I know my song is more of a song and less of a whine if I fill my mind with positive thoughts. And so I went back through my journal and found some of my favorite quotes.

To laugh often and love much… to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one’s self… this is to have succeeded.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.- Aristotle

You must be the change you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.- Hugh Downs

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. – Sir Winston Churchill

Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.- Unknown

I wonder what thoughts fill your mind each day…

I find that if my mind is thinking neutral to negative thoughts, it is time to pull out my journal and read some lyrics to favorite songs or focus in on some favorite quotes.

I don’t believe positive thinking erases the struggles we have, for in every life there is a shipwreck and a life boat. It is my hope that I will move through my struggles with more ease if I remember that my life is not all about struggle. I am thankful that even in the ache, there are seeds of joy being nurtured!

May you find your song today in your shipwreck and your life boat!

 

 

 

Sports and perspective….

Today I packed up my car and along with my Mom and my niece Anneliese, we headed to Detroit to catch a Middle School Track Meet and a High School Soccer game. I don’t quickly decide to spend 4.5 hours on the road for sporting events, but if my nieces or nephews are participating, it makes my decision pretty easy.

There are things I want to share about tonight, in a blog tomorrow. Because tonight I kept thinking about a post my friend wrote and wanted to share that with you. I think that youth sports today requires the parents to keep life in perspective. I am thrilled to say that my brother and sister-in-law do just that. My friend Laurie also talks about the balance needed….

I feel for parents and kids today as they navigate where sports fits into one’s day-to-day and how these experiences shape them. There are wonderful opportunities and there are some significant risks….

I am thankful that my siblings continue to nurture and love their children regardless of the outcome on the field. And I am proud to say, that through my eyes, every one of the kids I know, and their friends, are incredible athletes. Click on the link below to the Guikema Gang Post and marvel at the parenting of my friend Laurie……

Guikema Gang Post

 

 

 

Adoption changes lives…

I had the incredible opportunity to be an Adoption Social Worker for almost ten years. I remember my adoption families as if it was just yesterday that I sat in their living rooms for hours on end. We talked about their stories and how they were anticipating new chapters to that story. We talked about the joy and the heart ache that may come in those chapters. And we talked about the joy and the sorrows of the past chapters. We talked about how sometimes love isn’t enough and we talked about the power of love. We talked about how kids learn to be self-reliant when they spend time in an orphanage. We talked about culture, family, siblings, bonding, attachment, transitions, language, jet lag, finances, marriage and so much more.

And with all that talking and the prayer and the support and the community, I still had to say, your journey is unknown and will require you to be committed through the worst of days and the dark of night. There will be celebration and their will be days you wonder why you took this big risk.

And there are stories of delight and there are stories of heartache and despair. There are bonds that continue to grow still years later and there are couples who still feel the grieving pain of a disrupted adoption.

Adoption is not an easy journey, but it is a worthwhile one!

I have a heart full of children who are dear to my heart.

I have a heart full of love for parents and families who dared to expand their story with the journey of adoption.

I am celebrating today with my friend who met her daughter five years ago today in China. Back then this little five-year old was a bundle of life but full of mystery. Today she is beautiful and insightful, much more predictable and deeply loved. Her mother knows her inside and out and posted this today on face book: Celebrating 5 years ago today Caili and I became a family! How fast those five years have gone and what a blessing they have been. Last night she gave thanks to God for making us a family and bringing her here to the US to live and for all the great things she now has, friends, family, a home and a warm bed.

I love this kid and I pray for her and her Mom (my long time friend) every day. They have come through so much and today, their five-year anniversary gotcha day, is really one to be celebrated.

I am looking forward to the continuing unfolding of this story…..

Much love to all “my” families. You all hold a very special place in my heart!

Living on the edge….

I love this inspirational saying:

I have it painted on the wall in my office and I have it framed here at home. I have a journal that has it on the cover and I have it embedded in my heart.

I am not even close to living to the edge of my possibility. When I journal on all this saying holds for me, I am surprised where fear holds me back. When I think of living on the edge of all my possibility, I realize there is an energy in me that feels almost electric.

I wonder if you dare to dream of how you would live differently if you lived to the edge of all your possibility!

I wonder if you can envision what steps you would take towards the edge and start to take them…

I wonder if you can feel some of the same electric energy when you embrace this inspirational saying by Maryanne Radmacher.

There are places I thought I was on the edge, and then I found that God expanded my horizons and stretched my boundaries. Life is exciting and holds so many invitations to live life fully. I made a list tonight of places I can continue to journey to the edge…

I plan to continue that journey each day!

 

An invitation to live by….

I saw this today and love all it invited me to….

Live without pretending….I strive to live true to my heart and all it holds in a passing moment. As I have journeyed to my heart I have learned that to live without pretending requires me to live honestly with my thoughts, emotions, celebrations and struggles. I find to live without pretending invites me to practice honesty, commit to integrity and I am often amazed how honest living invites deep connection with others around me!

Love without depending…this one always makes me think a moment. I want to trust enough to depend and I believe that is a healthy thing. But I have very much been caught in the co-dependent type of loving before, believing if I love you then you better do this or that for me. I do find my heart to be more free when I love freely….

Listen without defending…I have learned that to Listen well is an excellent gift! I have learned that to listen well is to set aside judgement and defense. I have learned that when I begin an internal dialogue to what I am hearing, I am not listening well. I believe to love others well is to Listen without defending….

Speak without offending…and so the invitation to recognize that my words have impact. I must recognize that there is my intent and there is my impact and I am committed to be sensitive to both. And of course my commitment to live without pretending invites me to be honest in the face of conflict and disagreement in the event someone is offended. May I be willing to speak the truth in love and know when to speak and when to remain silent. There is maturity in both.

And so, I see this as  a wonderful saying and a loaded invitation.

If I focus on just these four invitations this week, I believe I will have much to practice!

 

3 friends, a dog and a baby….

Let me tell you a little bit about our office environment at Visiting Angels.

When I bought my business in August of 2003 I knew that I  was committed to providing care that was different in some way. There are lots of people providing home care and I wanted to ensure we weren’t just like everyone else. Visiting Angels of West Michigan has found many wonderful ways to be different. I am thankful every day for the job I am able to go to. I am thankful every day for the people I am able to serve. I am thankful every day for the co-workers I enjoy, both in the office and the Caregivers who provide amazing care in the homes!

Over the years I have journeyed with a number of different office staff. Each season we have been through has left me with vivid moments that leave me with sweet memories. Today there are three of us in the office who sit within ear shot of each other and tag team on almost everything. We have journeyed to valleys and mountain tops together and we have laughed and we have cried. We have good days and days that seem longer and a bit more tricky to get through, but in the end, we will all declare that we see God work every day in how He provides for Visiting Angels, our Caregivers and our Clients. I don’t know if I could have it much better than to work with co-workers who have become dear friends who share in their passion to serve clients, love caregivers and for the most part, enjoy what every day brings.

And then there was the day I went out and bought a puppy. Just over three years ago, Dutch joined my home and started coming to the office. You can read more about my early days with Dutch at http://trishborgdorff.com/2010/08/31/what-i-have-learned-from-dutchess/

I clearly remember waking up Monday morning after Dutch came home on Sunday and she seemed to small to stay at home alone, so I packed her in a laundry basket and brought her with me to work. She is now a permanent fixture in Suite 270. She is often seen hanging her very cute head out of the Visiting Angels red car that drives around town. She also is often visited by clients, caregivers and caregivers  children and grandchildren. Dutch is greeted before the three of us and often receives the final words as our guests leave the office. Dutch will lay at the feet of new applicants and if she happens to be at Camp Bow Wow for the day, inevitably we have to answer the question throughout the day of where is Dutch? I never really planned to bring a dog to the office, but life happens and it has been good!

And over the years of working with Laura we have celebrated her engagement, marriage and now are so excited about her and Dave’s newborn son. We often say to our clients and their families that we are committed to evaluating life as it unfolds because we recognize that needs and circumstances change. Well, if we do that for our clients, it only seems right we do that in the office as well. And as Laura’s life and circumstances have changed, we are ebbing and flowing in the office. Andrew joined our office crew this past Friday as Laura’s maternity leave came to an end. It only seems right that Laura is able to work and enjoy her son if we can make that happen. And I believe that we can make that happen. We recognize and freely talk about what it will take to make this transition and I believe we are all confident that it will be good. Dutch may be the one with greatest doubt at the moment, but by the end of the day Friday, she seemed to find new space to call her own as well.

I have learned many things since I took my first job at 22 years old. I believe the best lesson I have learned is that life does not come neatly packaged and to be able to ebb and flow for myself and in my relationships with others, often allows for the most joyful living. I often say to my nieces and nephews, I will say yes, unless I absolutely believe that no is the best answer. I bet you aren’t surprised to hear that rarely do I say no. If yes can work, then let’s make it happen.

I am thankful that our Visiting Angels office is full of life and love with three friends, a dog and a baby in our office environment!

The Daily News…

I had a great day today. It was close to perfect all the way around. As I wrap up my day, I wish I would have gone to bed before watching the news….

There is such tragedy in our world (or should I say city and world)

There is an amber alert out for kids who are missing and suspected kidnapped by their grandparents and are likely in great danger…

There is a story of a woman who saw her husband killed in Afghanistan over Skype….

There is the crazy story of a child taken to the tanning bed….

There are people young and old who have died suddenly and I am always annoyed when the media believes they must interview family who are just within hours of learning of a tragic reality….

And so perhaps watching the news tonight simply reminds me that there is much to pray about AND there is much to be thankful for….

The ache of other’s around me does not rob my joy, but it does deepen my gratitude….

The ache of other’s around me does not change my immediate reality, but it does heighten my vulnerability…

The ache of other’s around me does not invite me to worry more, but it does give me the choice to increase my faith in new ways….

My heart is full of joy for all I experienced today….

My heart is full of hope for all tomorrow will hold…

My heart is full of concern for those who ache….

My heart is full…..

 

Abe Lincoln…

Tomorrow morning I will slip away from the office and learn about Abe Lincoln. My almost 9-year-old nephew will dress up and give an Abe Lincoln presentation. I don’t know if there are things I wish I knew about Abe, but I am confident that tomorrow night at this time I will know something I do not know tonight….

I am excited about this presentation because of the presenter. It is not easy to stand up in front of people and speak up. Peter is a great conversationalist, but he would prefer one on one to being the center of attention. But he is a student at Living Stones Academy and I love how he is challenged to learn much more than book knowledge. I am grateful to Living Stones for teaching my nephews how to speak publicly and feel good about doing hard things. I know this for sure, Peter has learned about much more than Abe Lincoln.

And so Peter Henry, be brave, look us in the eye and be proud of what you have learned. Speak boldly and loud, even if your voice shakes! You can do it!

Optimum choices…..

I have been pretty focused with my wellness journey lately. I can confidently say the journey continues and that includes nutrition, water intake, exercise and sleep routines. .

I am enjoying a pretty solid nutrition plan which includes a protein shake for breakfast along with grapefruit, an apple and cheese stick mid morning, a big salad for lunch, a mid afternoon snack and a protein, veggie or salad for dinner. I am enjoying this routine and finding some variety and structure in my plan. I feel good and am past the point of cravings for carbs. I am growing in confidence and realizing the benefits in how I feel….

Add in my daily workouts and my evening cardio and I am looking forward more and more to my 25 year High School reunion in August.

But then I had a weekend where I was recovering from the flu and I didn’t get my grocery shopping in. I found that for a week I was trying to pull some meals together. I would run to subway for lunch and skipped more than a few breakfasts that week. I found that my energy was affected, my muscles ached, my sleep wasn’t as deep and I began to realize that my sleep, my energy,  my stamina and my energy was all affected by how many carbs I ate.

I have been on the journey for a long time and yet last week I realized at a different level that it is not about good and bad choices, it is about optimum choices for my body. My body is carb sensitive. I can’t afford to eat many carbs and reach my goals. My body responds well to fruits, proteins and veggies. I realized that I can subscribe to every diet, read every book, seek out every expert, and yet my body is unique. I am my own best expert…as long as I am considering optimum choices.

And so I had a week where I made different choices and I learned a very valuable lesson. I am thankful for the week where I felt off and the insight to name what was different. I look forward to a consistent plan and resting in the knowledge that I have what it takes to succeed. It takes planning, insight, discipline, hard work and determination.

I wonder if you have identified what types of things allow you to feel your best….

Won’t you join me in making optimum choices so you (and I) can feel our best?