Do you ever have a Facebook memory appear and realize it is one that provokes?
The ones that catch me most off guard are not simply nostalgic. They provoke an entire landscape of feeling all at once. Sorrow. Gratitude. Ache. Anger. Tenderness. Relief.
And perhaps most disorienting of all is the confusion of time itself.
How can something feel like it happened yesterday and also somehow belong to another lifetime? How can it already be almost two years ago?
This morning, one of those memories surfaced.
Immediately, I was transported back to that June day walking out of the Synodical meetings of the Christian Reformed Church. I remember stepping outside carrying the weight of what had just unfolded, wondering where life would lead from there.
It did not feel like life was over. But it did feel like something pivotal in my faith story had shifted permanently, and in that moment, I could not yet see where God would lead next.
This morning, as the memory returned, I could still feel traces of it all—the sorrow, the ache, even a twinge of anger. But what rose above all of it was gratitude.
Deep gratitude.
Gratitude that God remains faithful.
Gratitude that God continues to lead my faith story.
Gratitude that God continues to lead the communal faith story of my church.
I do not need to put all of it into words again. But perhaps I needed to revisit the words that once helped me name what was happening in real time.
Before sharing what I wrote at that time, perhaps a little context is helpful.
The first portion of this blog is a reflection written nearly a year later. The section that follows is the actual post and farewell letter written in the midst of the unfolding itself.
If you are carrying something provoking or painful that is still unfolding in your own life, give yourself space and time. Trust that God will provide exactly what you need exactly when you need it.
I do not say this in a pious or simplistic fashion as someone who now looks back and can see that God quietly provided exactly what was needed for each season.
Today, I fully understand separating the Christian Reformed Church from my identity and my faith. It has been a process over the last few years, but today, the process is complete. Last evening, my church, along with many others in our Grand Rapids East Classis, was disaffiliated from the Christian Reformed Church.
It became clear to me as I read a farewell letter at Synod about a year ago. The Christian Reformed Church shaped my faith, but this denomination no longer holds my heart. I am unwilling to abandon my convictions, and to stay would require me to be put under discipline until I repent. This is no longer the Church that I can align with.
I am grateful for the years I called the Christian Reformed Church home. I am relieved to no longer be Christian Reformed, based on how they have chosen to interpret scripture. I (we)now have the freedom to fully embrace all of God’s children and further the Kingdom together until He comes again!
Many people ask where Peter Borgdorff would stand in all of this. We can confidently say that he would grieve the brokenness and call for unity, but when forced to choose, he would also stand where we have chosen to stand. We grew up experiencing that there is room at the table for all!
A Farewell to the Christian Reformed Church
June 20, 2024
This letter was read by Trish Borgdorff on the floor of Synod on behalf of her home church, Eastern Avenue CRC, and by extension all of the churches who will be required to “repent” of their affirming practices and statements or disaffiliate from the CRC.
Dear Delegates,
We have talked about process a lot this week. I asked our president for permission to address
the body. As excited as we are to make a suitable pathway to welcome our new church plants into our denomination, how we leave is also important to consider.
I have heard Christians referred to as repairers of the breach—that our highest calling is to mend the places that sin has broken. Perhaps that’s why it’s so heartbreaking to have a breach of our own. We’re doing the very opposite. And it would be disingenuous for any of us to think we didn’t play some part in causing it. I don’t come to you with a spirit of us versus them, but more to highlight the reality that here we are together, serving the same God, loving God’s people in our desire to further His Kingdom, and somehow we see it all very differently.
I grew up as the daughter of a pastor and later administrator in the CRC. For much of his life, this church was his deepest love. It was our home in the truest sense of the word. This church shaped me and my faith. I’m grateful for all of it, which makes this process particularly painful.
My church home, Eastern Ave Christian Reformed Church, has been on the corner of Eastern and Logan in Grand Rapids for almost 150 years. We have been imperfect yet faithful in serving God and his people. We are a gospel-loving, story-telling, justice-seeking, joyful body of believers.
We trust a God who looks kindly on those of us who are uncertain and struggling – who can live with the gray areas of life and still trust in the wideness of his mercy. We serve a God who is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. We trust that where the fruits of the Spirit are present, the Spirit is present. We believe Scripture is meant to form and teach us, binding us together. We believe God is making all things new; therefore, we are moving with the Spirit in the messy and holy work of renewing worship, nurturing faith, doing justice, caring for creation, and building community with our neighbors.
At Eastern, we have loved and been committed to the work and ministry of the CRC. Today, there is sadness, but there is also peace and hope. We believe that God’s Church is bigger than any denomination, and his call extends beyond the boundaries of the CRC. We will remain faithful to God’s call on our community, trusting in his guidance and provision.
We trust the Spirit will continue to move and chase after us, all of us, with goodness and mercy, and someday, together, we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Then, with eternity on our side, we can find a way to live in unity.
May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard all of our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.
.
