Mother’s Day as a single woman

I am a single 56-year-old woman who has never birthed children. Mother’s Day could feel like a sad day for me.

But it doesn’t.

Somewhere along the journey of my heart, I learned that caring for, nurturing, and loving children is not only the privilege of those who gave birth to them.

I am grateful for a family and community that have supported my life as a single woman. I am surrounded by people who love me well. I have siblings who love and support me, and I have had the great joy of loving and supporting their children — and now their children’s children.

But really, it began before that.

I grew up in a family where marriage was celebrated, but not expected. I am deeply grateful that my family embraced single living as well as marriage. I never felt that marriage brought more worth or value to my life.

That does not mean I did not long to be married or have a family of my own. But it does mean I have been able to live with peace in the life that is mine.

So many life events seem to take shape around marriage and children — wedding showers, weddings, anniversaries, school events, graduations, births, birthdays.

And then, of course, there is Mother’s Day.

In my family, I have been celebrated right alongside my mom and my sisters who are mothers. I have learned that nurturing and loving children — whether biological, chosen, borrowed, or beloved — is a celebration of the way lives are shaped by the tender heart of a woman.

As a child, I remember reading the book Are You My Mother?

Although the story is about a little hatchling searching for its mother, the question has stayed with me in a different way. Perhaps we are invited to offer one another glimpses of that kind of love — love that protects, nurtures, notices, teaches, and stays.

I am who I am because of my mother’s love. And I am also who I am because of the many women who have poured into my life.

I may not have biological children, but I have chosen to pour myself into others. I have nurtured and loved with my whole being. As Mother’s Day approaches, I can see so many faces of children I have loved. Here are a few, but there are so many more I hold close to my heart and in my prayers!

The question, Are you my mother?, has become part of my story. Not because I need the title, but because I know the call: to love those around me with purpose, passion, and commitment.

This Mother’s Day, I hope you are able to love and be loved.

If you have children, may you be at peace and be blessed by those around you.

If you do not have children, may you be embraced and blessed.

If you have lost children, may you experience comfort and be blessed.

And if you long for children, but do not know if the desires of your heart will be honored, may you hold hope and be blessed.