When music speaks

I’ve often wondered what would draw me back to writing.
I miss the rhythm of it—and yet I haven’t returned.

This morning in church, I sensed it clearly:
it’s time.

May has become a month of remembering for me.

May 8, 2015
My Aunt Anita died.

We spent a lot of time together. She was matter-of-fact yet kind—stoic, loyal, and deeply devoted to family.

May 18, 2017
My Aunt Follie died.

We made regular trips to Canada to visit her. She kept her strength in spirit, even as Parkinson’s took it from her body.

Aunt Dot, Aunt Follie and my Mom and I

May 21, 2018
My dad died after a seven-week illness.

His death changed my life. And yet, who I am today has been deeply shaped by him—and by my mom.
I will always carry him in my heart.

Nick, Ryan and my Mom and Dad

May 10, 2023
My Uncle Bob died.

He was married to Aunt Anita. They didn’t have children together, but he became someone I spoke with daily—just to make sure he was okay.
Aunt Anita had asked me to look out for him—and I did.
That relationship changed me for good.

Uncle Bob, my Mom, Aunt Wilma, Aunt Dot and Uncle Adrian

May 25, 2025
My Aunt Dot died.

We did so much of life together. She was not only my aunt, but also my neighbor and dear friend.
We traveled. We shared meals, stories, laughter, and heartache.
But most of all, we shared family.

Jonna, Andy, Trish, Mom, Aunt Dot, Arlene, Suzi, Nick and Dan

May is also the month we always celebrated Hermie—our dear, dear friend who became family.

We celebrated her life through her 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and all the way to 98.
Last year, on her birthday (May 30), she moved to Trillium Woods and began the final stage of releasing her grip on this world.

Johanna, Aunt Dot and Hermie (Grandma B)

This morning in Church we sang Softly and Tenderly

Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling
Calling for you and for me
See on the portals He’s waiting and watching
Watching for you and for me

Come home, come home
All who are weary come home
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling
Calling, “O sinner come home”

O for the wonderful love He has promised
Promised for you and for me
Though we have sinned He has mercy and pardon
Pardon for you and for me

This song brought every face back to my heart this morning. The following video is why…it was a beautiful moment as Hermie was transitioning from this world to the one we all long for. We will all be called someday to come home…Jesus will call your name—“Come home.”

Grace and peace, ❤️ Trish

An unexpected Monday…

Today, I was aware of the unexpected goodness in my day. None of it was formulated or expected, but somehow, as I realized where I was, my heart felt full…

My hands and arms were full when I went out the door this morning. Almost five months ago, my heart was again enlarged as I embraced my great niece, Umi Anaïca Borgdorff. I had what I needed for my busy Monday. I had Willa’s leash in hand, pulling me towards the car, as she loves to go to the office. Add in a few items Willa wanted to bring for the day, and Umi was hooked on my arm in her car seat. I also carried her sleeping cloud pillow, diaper bag, and bumbo seat. I smiled and thought how good it is to start a Monday with so much goodness!

I delved into my work, Umi chattered in an exceptionally cheerful voice. My dear friend and long-time co-worker had brought such a good breakfast to my desk. I thought a boiled egg and breakfast sausage had never tasted so good, but in the end, I realized that the kindness with which Heather prepares, shares, and engages is so heartwarming. Heather leaves for Mexico in the morning, and I will miss her, but she will return the day before her 50th birthday, and it will be so fun to celebrate her and hear how she spent the time renewing her mind, body, and soul. Another moment of appreciating a Monday filled with so much goodness!

No photo description available. I woke up at 4 a.m. and checked my phone to see how one of our clients was doing. Surprisingly, I learned that one of my nieces got engaged last evening! At that moment, Salida, CO, seemed so far away, but I knew that this would bring even more profound joy to Ellie’s heart. What fun news on an EARLY Monday morning! Welcome to the family Sev!

I ended my Monday in my small group. This group comprises women in recovery and women from my Church committed to journeying with our neighbors. It fills me with an invitation to grow, experience peace, and trust that God has met me today, right where I am. In today’s Monday Goodness, God met me and highlighted all the surprises of goodness when I opened my eyes to notice! I hope you can see the goodness in your life today!

Grace and Peace,

♥️ Trish

 

 

 

CS Lewis and grief

I saw Shadowlands last week. Master Arts put on an excellent play. It reminded me again why I admire CS Lewis. In High School, we had to read Mere Christianity. I did not appreciate his writings then, but since then, some 38 years later, I often find myself reflecting on quotes from CS Lewis.

The other day, I wrote about joy. Today, I have grief in my heart. As my niece is only two weeks away from her wedding day, I feel the absence of my brother, her father, who died in 2012. We have all adjusted in the day-to-day, but then I think of this..“Her/his absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed . It is true, we have adjusted, but his absence is always present. Grief changes us. It does not destroy us, but yes, it changes us!

I am aware that in these two weeks before the wedding, I will do my grief work so the day of the wedding, my heart will not be conflicted with the ache of loss. I will miss Len and his absence will be felt in so many spaces. AND, I want to be fully present in the Joy of Olivia and Sam. If there are moments of grief for them, I want to be with them in their grief, but it feels important for me to give my grief care before the big day!

Being honest about the absence of Len and the grief provoked AND celebrating with my whole heart the joy of the marriage established is something that my heart can hold, and for that, I am grateful!

Grief also presents itself in how I watch our daily events unfold. How we engage one another and how Christians are perceived (some for very good reason) in our world today grieves my soul. This grief feels heavy, and I am tempted to check out, but I must remind myself to keep engaged.  I believe many of us are being challenged to the degree of what we stand for and why. CS Lewis says: It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you merely use it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it? 

Perhaps in this season of life I am being challenged to discover at a deeper level what and who I really trust. It can feel heavy and at times it is. Reality is hard, division is real and having to face the question of how to have a healthy and honest relationship with friends and family, knowing not everything needs to be said but more importantly, being wise about what is and isn’t shared. I pray that in the spaces we share, we will be thoughtful people about how we share our heartfelt convictions.

And in these spaces of question and uncertainty, I miss my Dad, who died in May of 2018. I would like one more conversation, but who am I fooling? I want more of them about all that is unfolding in our world, our community, and my heart. He was a fierce advocate for the Belhar confession, and this confession resonates with me as I know how we are called to face injustice. I miss him for many more reasons, but I miss his voice, wisdom, leadership, and confidence in moving into these spaces that surround us, especially in those spaces right now.

Borgdorff and Belhar

As I go to worship today, I am reminded that God is with us and among us and is still on His throne. He invites my joy and holds my grief. As C.S. Lewis so rightly says, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

Be tender with your grief today,

❤️ Trish

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living with Joy in difficult spaces….

I came across this recently and paused. I have learned to pay attention to the pause. What resonated for me? The color is muted but still   vivid,  the person appears aging but youthful, peaceful but full of energy, alone but so content! The picture invited me to pause and breathe deeply.

And then the words. The words invited me to pause and breathe deeply as well. To take them in and absorb them. I am practicing living fully present in the moment. I must set aside my focus on performance, duties, and task completion! Isn’t it good to know and embrace that our lives are about o much more than production?

This is a reminder that you are not here just to do things, perform duties, and complete tasks.

You are here also to feel happy, content, inspired, and well within yourself.

You are here to have some fun, create meaningful moments and find the sparkle in your eyes again.

You are here to unravel the magic of being alive, the magic of being you. To heal, to feel whole again.

Do something today that lights you up. That activates your joy. That brings about a genuine smile from your heart.

I hope you will join me in committing to living this out daily. Some days, I feel myself come to life so beautifully; others, I can hardly find the spark to ignite my soul. Still, no matter what, if I am intentionally committed to living alive in my spirit, I am confident I can choose to activate joy and share genuinely from the depths of my heart!

We live in a complicated, intense, broken world. If you can live present to the moment and sprinkle some joy in the world through your actions or even with a bright, beautiful smile, you might invite someone else to live present, heal, or feel whole again! Even when times are hard, may we never lose our joy!

With gratitude for all that is good,

❤️ Trish

 

The messy and holy of every day living…

It has been a while, but I’m back again. I could provide many reasons for my absence from writing, but the persistent urge to blog never fades. Whenever I write, I feel like I’m engaging in something I love.

I want to thank my dear friend Betty Lee, who never pressures me to blog but always reminds me that she misses my posts. So, Betty, because of your gentle encouragement, I’m returning to writing tonight.

It doesn’t surprise any of you if you know me or maybe know me through reading my blog that I am a person of faith. I have attended my current Church since 2003. My Church is a place where I feel known and loved. I can walk in and celebrate the intergenerational relationships, some 20+ years old and others new, and it feels as if we are starting to learn about one another.

I appreciate many aspects of my faith community, but one element resonates deeply and brings peace to my soul. Our mission statement emphasizes “messy and holy work.” This phrase captures the essence of the challenging yet sacred journey of living out our faith and fulfilling the life that God calls us to!

As I return to writing, I want to express that this season of my life feels more messy than holy. However, I believe that God works amid the mess. Through our daily lives, the Spirit will bless our relationships, conversations, the work of our hands, our thoughts and prayers, our last-ditch efforts, pleas, and the cries of our hearts. He will transform our mess into something holy.

In this complicated and broken world, where division is rampant and tragedy often confronts us—where guns, violence, and war take innocent lives, and those who are hungry, homeless, and unemployed struggle to find hope—let us, who live both messy and holy lives, spread goodness wherever we go. We can share a smile, a hug, a greeting, an honest story, tears, or simply a moment of sacred silence.

So, go and live attentively in this moment, both in your own life story and in the stories of others!

Grace and Peace to you,

❤️ Trish

 our vision (eastern ave, grand rapids)

God is making all things new; therefore, we are moving with the Spirit in the messy and holy work of

renewing worship,

nurturing faith,

doing justice,

caring for creation and

building community,

with our neighbors.

Shortage of housing and daycare

I have a niece who is looking for housing. I have become acutely aware that I only truly understand the struggles many people face when someone I care about experiences them. As much as I dislike that about myself, I am learning this to be true. In this reality, I am learning to grow in my knowledge and commit to advocating for many people’s critical life needs. There is a shortage of housing; there is a shortage of vouchers to help pay for housing, and there is a shortage of resources about where to go while you are on the 2- to 5-year waitlist.

The other significant shortage in our community is infant daycare. When she started calling around, we learned that most people are on the list for daycare about 9 to 12 months before daycare is needed or as early as conception. It makes life and independence pretty challenging when housing and daycare are not accessible to a young woman whose earning potential is not yet in the professional salary range.

In these last months, I have learned so much about housing and daycare, and I have begun to pray daily for mothers and children who need a home and good care. May we all work together to identify solutions that serve those who live lives we have never lived or do not understand. May our compassion and assistance bring hope and change to those we encounter.

❤️ Trish

 

 

A surprise pop of color!

Today, my Mom and I went on a hike. It was in the woods, on a beautiful trail. The trail had hidden tree roots all over it, and dead leaves covered the ground. Other than the unusual 80+ temperatures, it felt fall-ish and peaceful.

I thought about how little color I had seen on this trail. It was so good to look up at the blue sky or the lake a ways out, where color seemed more abundant. I was thinking about how quickly I can consider the browns and earth-tone colors mundane.

As we kept walking, something caught my eye: something of color. I kept walking. And then I stopped and went back. After I reflected on the lack of color, finding this leaf just lying there, with no indication of where it had come from, felt like a reminder, a special message, to remember that even in the spaces I believe to be dull, surprises can pop up. Nowhere could I find a space where this may have fallen from.

Beauty will be found if you keep your eyes open and trust that sometimes when you least expect it, something beautiful will catch your eye and encourage your heart!!   ❤️ Trish

 

 

Pursuing Healing….

I come from a culture that values strengths more than struggles. Although this mindset can be very beneficial, I also recognize that it has limited our willingness and ability to speak about our vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

So, when I came across this quote today, it caused me to pause and wonder: How do we surrender to the process if we are not honest about what we need? I must be able to acknowledge and name my vulnerability and weakness to move into healing these tender and broken spaces.

My family has experienced so much good change in the last 25 years. I am grateful that we all are more willing to name what is not working and share a willingness to explore what change would look like. It is not always simple or easy, but I do find that it keeps us moving towards being healthier individuals.

I wonder where your thoughts wander as you consider the quote above. Can you name where you or your community needs healing? Can you begin to consider what it means to surrender to the process? I believe that healing starts when we name the areas we struggle with. This is not always done in a professional setting. Sometimes, it is simply sitting with someone who can listen well and reflect on your words. Sometimes, surrendering to the healing process requires pursuing professional help. I am a firm believer in “trusting your gut.” I believe what you need will become apparent as you act courageously and remain open to your healing journey.

I have had well-meaning people tell me what they think I need. I have not found them to be the most helpful or even accurate. I believe God speaks to us in our guts, and if you listen to yours, you will find enough clarity to take the next step. God will use others, and listening is essential, but hearing God will resonate in your heart, soul, and gut!

Be courageous and be honest. You and your community will be better for it!

❤️ Trish

The journey of transformation…

Transformation is a Holy word…

A word of power and hope…

A word of longing…

In a world of brokenness, I often pray that we may be a transformed people…

And then I read this…

Transformation takes on a new meaning. It is a process of release and unraveling, courage and shining the light in darkness, honest reflection, and pulling out the thorns that choke out life.

Transformation is about uprooting and becoming….

I hope together, we can live the transformation journey until Jesus calls us Home! ❤️ Trish

All shall be well…

I received this gift from my sister one Christmas. It hangs in my living room by the door, and I pass it every morning on my way out. I pause and read it each morning. It reads as a simple statement, but the meaning of these words reaches the depths of my soul.

Declaring that “all manner of thing shall be well” does not eliminate misfortune, sickness, or death. It is pointing to what all the respected wise ones say about the ability to find peace, and even joy, in the eye of the storm — to come to trust that there is something that transcends chaos and impermanence.

I have experienced pain and loss, grief and sorrow, unmet longings, and deep disappointment. And I am also keenly aware that goodness and joy have been abundant in my life. Deep faith, joyous laughter, and profound peace have been prevalent. The abundance of blessings far outweighs my hardships.

And so, as I leave each morning, not knowing what the day will hold, I know that, in truth, all manner of things shall be well; this is not a platitude or a pious statement that does not allow for pain or hardship. If I experience the eye of the storm in my day, I can trust that even in the chaos, peace and joy can be found, even in the face of adversity…all things shall be well! May you embrace these words and feel them deep into your soul on good days and not-so-good days! ❤️ Trish