is one of my favorite authors to read and reflect on….
Today this quote is really speaking to my soul…
“So I am praying while not knowing how to pray.
I am resting while feeling restless,
at peace while tempted,
safe while still anxious,
surrounded by a cloud of light
while still in darkness,
in love while still doubting.”
There is something about embracing a life that is not structured in black and white thoughts…
There is something about embracing a heart that is full of what you might consider conflicting thoughts…
There is something about embracing honesty and sharing that my life is simply a complex mystery….
I wonder if you read Henri Nouwen’s words and feel them resonate in your heart…
This story was shared by my brother-in-law at my brother’s funeral….
Through our tears we smiled and laughed….
The memory was a vivid picture of Len in all of his personality…
Shortly after 9/11 Arlene and I went to visit Marcia and Len at the Bremerton, Washington Naval base. When we arrived, Len had been playing with Noah, complete with Super Man shirt and small-sized cape. After some small talk, Len asked if I would like to see more of the base. Within a few minutes, we found ourselves in the situation of having to ignore some “do not enter” signs in order to see what was interesting. It was at this point that we saw the military police vehicles that had quickly swooped in behind us, blocking our exit. Len was able to confidently exit our vehicle and clear up the mis-understanding with the stern looking military police. However, I am still unsure if it was the navy credentials that won the argument, or the snug fitting superman t-shirt and cape that was the most convincing. I believe it was Superman.
And so, this past weekend my Dad, brother, and brother-in-laws went on the annual golf trip. Len loved this trip and I am sure his absence was felt in many ways. But I am sure that Len would have been delighted with how he was remembered….
I do wonder who creates these days but I kind of like this one….
I have always enjoyed my siblings (well, most of the time), and thought we would all grow old together….
I often have tried to envision how we would connect when we are all retired and what our visits would be like…
As many of you know, my oldest brother died December 23, 2012. I came to realize that all I dreamed of would not unfold the way I hoped….
Life is different now and I am more aware of my love for Nick, Arlene, and Suzi in the here and now….
We have journeyed a difficult road together and I am thankful for each of them…
For the way we grew up together and the way we live as adults together….
For the ways we laugh and cry together, for what we share when we live honestly together and for the fun we share when we just enjoy a very funny moment together. I love how we write poems, tell jokes, play pool or enjoy a happy hour…
I want to encourage anyone reading this to take the time each day to be in relationship with those you love and hold dear to your heart. Don’t let technology replace the phone, don’t let busy lives keep you from visiting. We have learned that life can change very quickly and so love deeply today….
Thankful for Len, Nick, Arlene and Suzi….I am thankful God picked them to be my siblings!
I often find myself wondering at the start of the day if at the end of a day, I will say it was a good day…
Most days are, but often for many different reasons….
So what made today a good day?
I had two sleep over guests last night so I awoke to young voices and smiling faces. That was a sweet moment….
My kitchen island was full at breakfast since three more came by for cinnamon rolls. Feeding a 21, 19, 9, 6 and 3-year-old breakfast makes for a delightful breakfast….
We headed out to go bowling and I am not sure when my nieces and nephews got good, but I smiled in disbelief that two of the three beat me. Not being beat by my 3-year-old niece really is a funny thing to be grateful for….
Tax season is almost over, and my brother-in-law owns Eastown Financial, so to celebrate today with their kids, I suggested we make our annual trip to Chuck E Cheese after bowling. It is fun to see the kids run from game to game and enjoy an hour of play time on crazy games for goofy tickets. Hearing my 9-year-old nephew declare that although he had fun, he does realize now that all the prizes are really just junk. It made me smile at how he is growing up…..
I then came home and enjoyed some quiet time, cleaned up my kitchen and played fetch with Dutch. It is always fun to have people in my home and I love the peace of being home alone as well. Quiet moments add goodness to my good day….
Just before I was headed out to a wine tasting fundraiser, I learned of my niece’s new forearm tattoo. I have posted a picture of it…..on this one, I am pretty confident my brother is smiling down on his girl! ♥ It is his writing, his words and his desire for her to be and become her own person….the tears that came with the text and picture allowed for my heart to remember and ache, and that is ok and feels honoring on a good day….
And then some wine tasting and fun connecting, some sorting and organizing at home, two more trips to the park with Dutch, and then my aunt joining me in the continued adventure of finding a new space for everything in my home….
And at the end of this day, I have my windows open and I marvel at the smell of spring in the rain that is lightly falling….
It was a good day because it included joy, sorrow, laughter, tears, encouragement, diversity, productivity, friends and family….