Month: January 2013

I drove to Detroit this morning….

Our weekend has unfolded different from we planned and hoped…

Due to sickness we did not do Christmas, but it still felt right to have some kids at my house…

I drove and watched the morning go from Dark and cool to light and sunny….

I went from the feeling of sadness and sorrow to the fun of riding with Sonta and Jean Marc, remembering Len, singing favorite songs and just enjoying being together…

My day was full….

I had a quiet, reflective ride….

I connected with a great friend while driving, remembering so much of the last weeks and putting words to the questions of tomorrow….

I read the many wonderful words from friends  received in the last weeks on Face Book….

I am so wonderfully thankful for the US Postal service who has delivered me love in cards every day for many days…

I went to exciting basketball games….

I am enjoying the company for 36 hours of two beautiful kids whose worlds were rocked by the death of their daddy…

Life is changed, it feels odd, the ache is deeply rooted, the tears still flow, the memories are fresh, my mind still thinks about how just three weeks ago and  Sundays feel forever marked….

But, as I drove this morning and as I move through each day, I often find myself remembering…..

And for that I am deeply thankful!

I invite you to keep Len’s memory alive by donating on-line to the Leonard H Borgdorff Memorial Fund…

On line giving for Leonard H Borgdorff Memorial Fund

I look forward to raising funds over many years to ensure Len’s passion continues to make a difference in the lives of children from Haiti….

I miss you Len but will give life my all, just like you did! ♥

Jean Marc and Len in Haiti, 2005

It was clear to us that selecting a memorial fund supporting Haiti
adoption was right in line with Len’s heartbeat…
Len left a written directive to “…rejoice in the varied color of
my life and in the tremendous variety and texture of this family.”

Len and Marcia added color and texture to their family in the
decision to adopt Sonta and Jean Marc from Haiti in 2005. In the
years that followed, Len and Marcia directed significant time
and energy to embracing their four children and supporting
Haitian adoptions. Sonta and Jean Marc are a
beautiful reminder to us every day of our family love for Haiti.

Please prayerfully consider a donation to help us keep Len’s memory alive.
I will post the link to online donations on January 11, 2013

We are confident Len’s heartbeat, passion and legacy will carry on through these gifts.

United States and International Donations:
Leonard H.Borgdorff Memorial Fund
God’s Littlest Angels
2283 A Waynoka Road
Colorado Springs, CO 80915

Canadian Donations
Leonard H.Borgdorff Memorial Fund
God’s Littlest Angels, Canada
P.O. Box 984
Okotoks, Alberta
T1S 1B1

First day of school for Sonta in Virginia

And it is hard to know what I feel….

We will be gathering as a family this coming weekend to celebrate Christmas together….

And yet as I write the above, it doesn’t feel right….

We will be gathering as a family but it won’t feel right….we will miss Len and our celebration will be dampened with our sorrow….

We will attempt to celebrate, but it feels different. It is hard to celebrate right now, but we will gather, and we will laugh, and we will cry, and we will enjoy being together….

We will do gifts and clues and poems….

We will honor our traditions….

It feels like odd and mysterious space, filled with deep valleys and a few hills that may allow us to stand above the deep ache for a short time…

I think we all agree how good it is to be together….

I think we all understand the feelings that are hard to put to words…

I think we all know that at any given time someone may be laughing, someone quiet and someone may be in tears…

I think the grief journey is hard and unpredictable, but it also has united our hearts in ways I never expected….

This weekend will be Christmas for my family….it will be incredibly difficult and amazingly wonderful….

I am in Detroit for a few hours to watch some basketball and do whatever needs doing….

Homework is what needed doing….

Percentages and equations challenged my thinking…

Jean Marc’s (age 9) math was more up my alley….

I realize that a kids world in grief is a hard place to be…

They get up and go to school and new information keeps coming at them….

They do the best they can, but the are admitting there are times they are sad and wish life was back to the old way….

Jean Marc told me today he was thinking how cool if he came home from school and his Daddy was there….

I couldn’t agree more, how cool that would be, but then we talked about what was real and decided their Dad would like it if we got right to their homework….

And I said a prayer that Len would share some of his wisdom on our homework session….

I can’t write just one blog today since it is also a day I celebrate Aunt Dot….

I can almost see Aunt Dot shaking her head as she reads a blog dedicated just to her….

I will keep it short and sweet….

I am so thankful for an Aunt who has shared in our family life, our vacationing, our Sunday dinners, our happy hours, our laughing, our celebrating, and our grieving….

I am so thankful for an Aunt who is a wonderful sister to my Mom (and sister-in-law to my Dad), and now Beppe (or Tante) Dot to all my nieces and nephews…

I am so thankful for an Aunt who brings order to my world, encourages my dreams, packs a bag and travels with me to far away places and as a result of being neighbors for the last 10 years, is also a dear friend and confidant….

Happy Birthday Aunt Dot……

Olivia Grace Borgdorff is a girl who makes a difference in everything she does….

My sweet niece turns 16 today…..

That means she has lived about 5840 days….(I know there are leap years and all of that)

That means she has blessed this world with her smiles and kindness for about 5800 of them…

I am figuring that she likely took her first 40 days to really learn to smile well….

Let me tell you some of the things I love about my incredible girl….

Her bedroom is filled with scripture verses and inspirational quotes…

She fully embraces that God has a plan for her life and that even on the most difficult days, she chooses to embrace this….

Olivia believes she can make a difference in someone’s life…She makes choices that bring joy to others and in that she finds a deep joy that fills her own heart. Olivia is confident in who she is and gentle in how she lives…

Olivia Grace loves her family and enjoys spending time with them (us)! She is quick to give a big hello and hug and always leaves us with an I love you!  Olivia brings so much joy and delight to our lives….

Olivia knows what it is to work hard. It might be on the court, in the classroom or serving up coffee at Tim Horton’s. Olivia has learned that things don’t always come easy, but when they come because of hard work and commitment, there is a sweetness to reaching personal goals. (I am excited to see that car you have saved up for!)

And so Olivia, in this 16th year, I hope and pray that you will live life fully, share your kindness with all you meet, pour your heart out to those you trust and believe that God has a purpose for your life, in all of the moments of goodness and in the quiet places of wondering…

I love you livi lou more than I can ever put words to….

Happy 16th birthday sweet girl….

Tonight I feel like I am without words….

And so I am going to share with you the words of my beautiful sister-in-law….

sitting resting in the quiet of my childhood home, the doorbell rings… it was traveling evangelist wondering about my salvation…. i had to stop her and simply said, “I’m all good”
she didn’t persist, mercifully. and went on her way. of course she has no clue about my week and this occurs to me….
how many people might be walking around, shattered. broken. destroyed with no hope. no savior. no net holders….http://trishborgdorff.com/2012/12/30/edge-holders/
I ask you to be more patient, more gentle, more kind, more tolerant to your fellow human, because we can’t know what is on their hearts. I have wept till nauseous, and also laughed this past week with memories of my sweet love, my best friend, my favorite comedian, my biggest cheerleader. Strangers would never know that I am shattered, but not hopeless. Broken but not destroyed. a sinner but still saved. So I invite you to live more compassionately within your world for all those who might be heavy laden and still appear to be ‘all good’.

Thank you Marcia for your words, honesty and wisdom….♥

I accept your invitation to be more patient, more gentle, more kind and more tolerant to my fellow human beings.