Oh, how I long to be a person of routine…..kind of.

wordstolivebyOh, how I long to be a person of routine…..kind of.

I long for it until I try it, then I find myself feeling stifled and a bit bored with life. And yet I admire people around me every day who seem to live with a sense of structure that I do not.

I find that when I enter a day that way, comparing myself to others, it rarely proves to be a life giving kind of day. But honestly, the struggle for routine has been a real one in my life.

I often wonder if this is about how I am wired, personality, the fact that I am single or a deep rooted fault of mine?

And yet, as I have tried many different things, I have begun to commit to two things. The first is that I can choose to live intentionally and in that intentional living, I am able to carry out more routine than when I am living mindlessly.

The second is honoring the words of some of the words I am choosing to live by….I will never change my life until I change something I do daily. The secret of my success is found in my daily routine.

I am learning that I can be a person of spontaneity and routine. It is imperative I focus on the right choices for where I practice spontaneity and where I practice routine.

I am someone who has had big life goals but not always been very good at breaking them down to my daily routine.

If we could sit and visit together I would ask you what changes in your life you are hoping for. I have found this to be a great journaling question or discussion question with those you enjoy conversing with. When you are ready to get down to business, begin to consider what changes you will make in your daily routine. to get there. I will be making some lists in the coming days. And starting to live faithfully by them. Feeling hopeful for some positive changes as a result of my blessed routine.

A tragic ending with more to the story….

Today I have thought often about the life of Bob Lillis. Bob died in 2014 but as I worked at my desk today he came to mind and he has stayed on my heart most of today.

Here is his story from the newspaper….

The man killed Sunday in a house fire in Walker has been identified by officials as 66-year-old Robert Lillis Jr.

Officials with Walker Public Safety believe a kitchen appliance failure caused the fire inside the Needham Court home.  A neighbor kicked in the door after seeing the fire and pulled Lillis, who used a wheelchair, out.

Calls came in at about 8 p.m. about the blaze, but Walker officials say the fire likely burned for several hours before that.

It took crews about 30 minutes to contain the fire after arriving on the scene.

An autopsy will be performed to determine Lillis’ cause of death.

I had the privilege to know Bob. We provided his in home care for many years. Bob died a tragic death and yet there is more to the story. Bob did not want to live in community. When he would find himself in rehab or in the hospital he wanted nothing more than to be home. He could have been in a residence where he would have been rescued if there was a fire, but in order to have that level of safety he would have lived a tragic life. I do not know Bob’s story well enough to understand why he resisted community with most everything in him, but I do know that his greatest joy was being home, even though he required care, was wheelchair bound and in the end died a tragic death.

I am struck by the senseless tragedies that seem to occur more frequently than I ever was aware of before. Some things are just plain tragic.

And I am also aware of things that appear tragic but if we consider more of the story, there be significant places of honor,  strength, and courage amidst the tragedy. Bob Lillis’ death was marked as a tragic ending. I do not want to miss the chance to say yes, that is true and Bob lived a life of incredible struggle, perseverance and courage. He is a man who understood tragedy, struggle and the gift of life.

I want to be a woman who knows how to name the tragedy, sit in the pain and the questions that come with tragedy and in appropriate time consider the more to the story, honoring the courage, strength and life that can be honored in the midst of the tragedy.





the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best:
I think about hope a lot…
I love the saying Hope anchors my soul…
I believe in hope, but I don’t always live with the reality that I have hope.
My journey to wellness has been a long journey. I have often wondered if my body will ever respond to the hope of my heart. For about 15 years I required a medication that put my body into menopause at 26. It feels as if Lupron robbed me of hope of a body that responds normally in my mid 40’s.
And yet, I am reminded that I am not able to control the number on the scale, but almost every decision is part of my journey to wellness. This journey includes rest and activity, a healthy perspective on food as fuel and enjoyment, reasonable portion sizes, a balance of freedom and routine, cardio, stretching, strength, finding joy and laughter, making time for reflection and spiritual renewal…..
And so tonight I bought a scale that links with my fit bit and allows me the visual of embracing the changes that are unfolding before me. I am not sure what those changes will be but I feel hopeful. To honor the hope I am feeling it was clear to me that when my computer asked for the name of my scale, it was obvious. My scales name is hope. And my scale is not the only place I hold hope for my wellness. I also feel it in my heart and I am going to embrace that hope every day.
I wonder what you will name hope in your day to day. Remember the definition is:

the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best:

Perhaps a place to rest, or maybe a time of day when you connect with someone you love, maybe it is the garden you work in and feel productive in your soul or your ipod that plays your worship music that brings your heart to life….

I am curious about where you long for Hope. I am surprised where I named hope and it feels like in my decision to do this, there will be unfolding life to enjoy.
Hope big my friends….

It could have been me….

I am very aware of this paragraph in the newspaper tonight….

A boy died Monday and nine others were hospitalized when a man who was eating a sandwich and looking at his GPS unit ran into traffic that had stopped for construction, police said.

My heart breaks for the Talsma family whose lives are changed forever due to the death of their 13 year old son David….

My heart aches for the 9 innocent accident victims who were involved in the crash, including the daughter of a High School classmate and David’s sister who was driving the car that was hit.

My heart can’t imagine what the driver of the car, a man who was eating a sandwich and looking at his GPS, 40-year-old Travis Fox, of Crown Point, Indiana is feeling tonight….

But what grips me as well is how it could have been me who changed the lives of innocent people due to my own distraction.

What happened today can not be undone. My prayers are with all those affected by this tragedy….

But I am aware that I can commit to having zero tolerance for distraction in my vehicle. My prayer is that I not lose this deep ache, awareness and conviction that I hold tonight.

Won’t you please join me in prayer and in committing to returning to the days when all we did behind the wheel was drive.