Next Saturday I am leaving for Fitness North, a two-week live-in boot camp experience. I signed up without thinking twice and have felt good about the decision ever since. But now, in all honesty, I have to say I am feeling some of my anxiety grow. I am not doubting IF I should be going. I believe it is right for me in this season of my life, but I am wondering what the two weeks will hold.
I am bringing my suitcase up today and starting to pack. I have hiking shoes and tennis shoes, i have a walking stick and head bands to catch the sweat that will drip from my brow, i have anti wicking shirts to layer and replace my all time favorite cotton t-shirts, i have workout socks, water proof layers, bathing suit, anti blister hiking socks and I have a brand new state of the art sports bra. I have a two-week stock of sugar-free bubble yum and I have rolls of quarters to wash anything I need to at the end of a sweaty day!
I keep wondering if I have all I will need. I am looking forward to spending all day everyday in workout clothes and at some level am looking forward to learning about my stamina and fitness level during the days I will live in my workout clothes. I am thinking the week before is the week you wish it was just time to go…enough thinking about it, let’s just do it!
But I need to take time to think this week about a few other things to take along. I need to remind myself that I will need to fill up on my courage to try new things, my patience that I undoubtedly will need for myself and others. I want to always ensure I have an abundance of grace and understanding so that I can go at it again and again and be an encourager to those I journey with. I can pretty much guarantee that I will need to face some difficult lies I have believed about myself…and I want to obliterate those and come home embracing what is true.
I want to work hard, sweat more than I have ever known, sleep deeply and feel every muscle I work during the day. But more importantly, I want to understand and love myself more. I want to uncover my beauty and feel the beat of my heart when I am pushed to my limits and when I am resting in the quiet of my room. I want to see and experience God in the struggle of the ache of my body and in the beauty that will surround me as I hike on the shores of Lake Superior. I want to do more than endure and survive. I want to live a life that has meaning and purpose and live it fully!
And so, with that I am off to pack, picking up and folding what I can and reflecting on what I will need to take within my heart. I covet your thoughts and prayers. One thing I know without a doubt, I will come back a changed woman. In what ways, now that is yet to be determined!