so many blogs…

Today is a day where I could write about 6 different blogs. Such a different space than last night when my mind felt empty.

I watched two Little League games and I was thinking about the joy of a boy.

And then I stopped at Matt and Janneke’s house and Dan and Arlene and Karolyn and Ellie were there helping with around the house improvements and I thought about writing about how it takes a village….

And tonight I hosted family dinner on the deck and it brings me such joy to host dinners on the deck and I thought about writing about simple joys

Last night I had the privilege of taking care of my very dear friends newborn triplets. I was reminded as I sat in their home with my Aunt and we held and fed babies, about the gift of new life….

Tonight my cousin called and wanted to ensure I knew I was invited to her sons open house. It was a kind and sweet moment in my heart as I talked to her and I have thought more about the power of an invitation

And then I am in awe today of how the body heals. In an odd mishap yesterday I stepped on my very hot curling iron. I feared that the coming days may be filled with sensitive skin and risk of infection. Today I have no pain and full blisters are protecting what could have been very tender and raw skin. It got me thinking about the amazing process of healing.

And yet at the end of the day, I think of three powerful words that have penetrated my heart.

I woke up this morning after having my first dream about Len since he died December 23, 2012. Sometimes that date seems so long ago and other days it seems like yesterday. But in my dream, he and his oldest daughter surprised me by showing up at my house and invited me to ride along to go and surprise my parents. Just as we were heading out the door, I woke up. Len was happy and looked healthy. He and Olivia were playful and it is as if my dream was full of joy. I realized when I woke up that I miss him

My 5-year-old niece heard me mention his name tonight in reference to where I got the edger in my garage. It was in passing and she stopped and said, Aunt Trish, I miss him.

My Mom and Aunt Dot and I were making plans for tomorrow. We are planning to visit the cemetery and bring a planter to his grave. At Fort Custer, we are permitted to bring flowers 10 days before Memorial Day and they must be picked up or will be disposed of on the day after Memorial Day. Len loved and resisted the structure of the military. I get that now. Sometimes I want to bring something to his grave and realize it just isn’t how it works at a military cemetery. And so, we will go tomorrow. And as my Mom got in her car, she looked back at Aunt Dot and I and said, I miss him!

And so, my day was full, my heart is full, my mind is full and I am grateful for so much. In the midst of all that, I can say, life is good and I miss him!

I know we are not the only people who miss someone. I hope you take time to share with others who you are missing. There is something comforting to knowing I do not miss him alone.

Author: trishborgdorff

I am on a life long journey to live with integrity, honesty, kindness and full of grace.

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