Month: July 2011

I wonder if you, like me, have things that you started well, but haven’t finished.

My friend Lief shared this quote today and it has me thinking….

A great deal of the time it’s not who is the fastest but who endures & finishes…Do what it takes to FINISH!

In some sense, it was easier for me when I was more focused on weight loss than wellness. After all, then the scale is your only mark of success. But then I made an intentional switch from weight loss to wellness. It has been fun to see how my vision has expanded beyond the scale.

Much of my focus in wellness is about staying committed to finishing. It isn’t about starting 100 good things…it is about finishing a few great things. It is a challenge at times to stay focused, but it is part of my journey and my growth….

I am committed to enduring and finishing…..one thing at a time so I can stay focused and enjoy the journey!

As I read this I was struck by how Betty Ford struggled in many ways. She created awareness and treatment options for addictions and breast cancer and is remembered as a very classy woman. Grand Rapids is very fortunate to have the Ford’s presence known here!

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• The director of the Gerald R. Ford Library confirms her death
• She was surrounded by family members, relative says
• Ford was married to Gerald Ford, the 38th U.S. president
• She was a well-known advocate for substance abuse treatment

(CNN) — Betty Ford, the widow of late President Gerald Ford and a co-founder of an eponymous addiction center in California, has died at the age of 93, according to the director of the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library and Museum.

Ford died Friday evening with family at her bedside, according to a family member.

Elaine Didier, the director of the Grand Rapids, Michigan, museum, confirmed Ford’s death to CNN.

No other details were immediately available.

Born Elizabeth Anne Bloomer in Chicago, she grew up in Grand Rapids. At the age of 21, she moved to New York City to work as a dancer and model before heading back to the Midwest two years later.

One year after divorcing William Warren after five years of marriage, she wed Gerald Ford — a former star football player at the University of Michigan and a decorated U.S. Navy veteran — in 1948. That year, the woman now known as Betty Ford campaigned with her new husband on his successful campaign to become a U.S. congressman.

The family moved to Washington, where Gerald Ford served in the Capitol for 25 years prior to his being tapped, in 1973, as then-President Richard Nixon’s vice president in place of Spiro T. Agnew.

Just over 10 months later, Betty Ford became first lady when her husband was sworn in as the 38th president of the United States.

She soon made headlines, discussing abortion, pre-marital sex and equal rights on CBS’ “60 Minutes” and being named as Newsweek’s 1975 “Woman of the Year.”

But in 1978, just over one year after leaving the White House after her husband lost his campaign to remain president, Ford made headlines of a different kind. She entered the Long Beach Naval Hospital to be treated for alcohol and prescription painkiller abuse.

That same year, she published the first of two autobiographies, entitled “The Times of My Life.” Ford would go on to become a high-profile example of someone who battled substance abuse issues, as well as a tireless advocate for treatment.

Her work paid dividends in October 1982 when, along with Leonard Firestone, she opened the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California. To this day, the center remains one of the most well-known and respected places nationwide for treatment of alcoholism and other drug dependencies.

Ford also fought to promote awareness and research on breast cancer, with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation eventually naming an award in her honor.

She earned numerous honors over her life, including a Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1991 and the Congressional Gold Medal eight years later.

Her husband, Gerald Ford, died in 2006.

It seems as if I have thought that a few times this week….

The phrase came to mind as I watched the Casey Anthony trial…

The phrase came to mind as I met with a woman who was very troubled and checked herself out of the hospital against medical advice with a broken hip, pelvis, two broken legs and a broken shin…

And now tonight, a suspect who has shot and killed seven people and is now holding hostages…..

All of these situations resonate of torment.

tormented past participle, past tense of tor·ment (Verb)

My prayers go out for so many….

But I will pray and hope….

What do I fear?
I fear stagnation and lack of progress.
I fear never reaching my potential and being average.
I fear being forgotten…the past…yesterday’s news.
I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night.
I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down.
I fear settling, giving in to the “that’s just the way it is” mindset.
I fear dying without leaving my mark.
I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along.
These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.

I love my fear.

– Unknown

I read this the other day and have to say it has lingered in my thoughts. There is something in it that resonates within me. I am not sure I would end with a statement that I love my fear….

But as I have thought it through:

I am considering my fears and being curious about what they are rooted in.

I am considering where at times fear holds me back.

I am making intentional decisions to push into fear more often and find it to be a very growing experience.

I don’t believe it is realistic to rid our lives of fear, but I do hope that my fears keep changing ~ because that will indicate I am moving….and that is truly living!

Today just feels like one of those days where I catch glimpses of something that make me shake my head and mutter “I just can’t make sense of it….”

It was the very prevalent news story of the Casey Anthony verdict…I do not know if she is guilty or not, but there is so much tragedy in this entire story…I just can’t make sense of it!

The missing four-month old in the Ludington area just isn’t feeling very hopeful…I just can’t make sense of it!

I met with a woman today who was in a car/deer accident and is now living with a shattered hip, pelvis, two broken legs and much despair. I met her for a short time and yet I could see a very tough exterior with a very vulnerable heart.I heard her holler and scream and demand much. I am a strong believer that even difficult people deserve good care. I see her struggle and I see how she treats people. But where do we go from here? I just can’t make sense of it!

My Dad shared with us about news of their friend who was diagnosed with a difficult disease…as their family has to absorb so much,  sort out and make critical decisions. I wonder why and why now? I just can’t make sense of it…

Is it different today than any other day? Likely not! There are shocking national events every day, there are local tragedies every day. Every day there are difficult people needing to learn to rely on others for assistance and the number of people in our circles of community dealing with life changing news is likely more than we care to count.

And so, in my awareness of this today, I am reminded to seek God’s presence and remember that I am not called to make sense of these tragedies.

As I take time to wonder and reflect, I find myself asking….

How do I live and stay present in the midst of the confusion that can feel like a fog around me?

How do I show up as I move into these people’s lives, or conversations about these situations, in ways that offer hope?

Am I able to quietly communicate my solid belief that I trust God deeply: trusting God with the outcomes on the good days, as well as the outcomes on the days when I mutter, I just can’t make sense of it?

Yes, I will choose to hang onto that belief and embrace what I know to be true.

Today was a fun day of family, food and fetch….

It was beautiful weather, so following a group treadmill run (Anne, Ellie, Arlene, our Mom and I) we spent some time at the pool. We then enjoyed a lovely evening happy hour and hamburg fry on my deck.

I enjoy hosting summer holidays since my deck is big enough to hold everyone but my house isn’t. I am thankful almost every day in the summer that I invested in a big deck. A deck much bigger than a single lady needs, but a deck wonderfully used by a single lady with a big family!

It helps to have my weigh in on Tuesday morning since I really was able to watch what I ate. I had read this quote today, The pain of discipline is nothing like the sorrows of regret & disappointment. I am not sure that I would call discipline so painful, but I would agree that when I hit sorrow and regret, I am in a powerless mode. I enjoyed the day with cucumber water, a simple hamburger on a high fiber sandwich thin and some delicious grapes. 

As the night began to wind down, we headed across the street and had a  few innings of whiffle ball with the remaining kids AND adults. Always fun and of course, it was a GREAT time to also get in some fetch.

And as I close, I think of this quote: If our country is worth dying for in time of war let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace.  ~Hamilton Fish

As I see the faces of some of my nieces and nephews, I pray we  will live responsibly in our freedom and that we will carry the well-known song ~ Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me~ in our hearts, in our thoughts, in our words, in our FB posts, in our attitudes, in our actions…

Today is the celebration of Sonta Mary.

Sonta joined our family a number of years back and today I can honestly say it feels as if she has always been a part of us.

Sonta is full of life and often has a big smile on her face. She has a bond with her siblings that is tight but also knows how to hold her own in the normal sibling rivalry.

Sonta had a good year in school and shows amazing determination as she learns a language that wasn’t her first language and all of the spelling and phonics that goes with English.

I have learned by watching Sonta for the last 7 years just how much we learn and absorb in our first five years of life. Sonta has shown amazing determination as she has sorted out how to learn, play, adapt and live as a part of a family.

Sonta lives fully, freely and passionately. She loves her family and has a very kind heart towards others. She has fun with her cousins, is the best picker upper out of all the cousins and her room is almost always organized and clean.

Sonta Mary, you are a delight and I am thankful that God has blessed my life with you. I am jealous that you can have your hair long or short within a few hours time. You are beautiful on the inside and out and I will always be here for you. Can’t wait to have your birthday sleep over with some of your cousins and we will all treat you like a queen.  

You are a brave, courageous, loving, tender-hearted teenager. What I love most about this picture is what you wrote underneath it.

On January 9, 2010 at 8:46am you posted on facebook…” i love my life!” I am so tickled that you do Sonta and I want you to know that I love YOU!

Sending a big hug….Aunt Trish

I have had some great conversations in the last few days that cause me to marvel in the moment….

They are conversations when I see pieces of a puzzle come together. I wonder if you ever have that. Times when you realize something from before, maybe days, weeks, months or years, has greater meaning in a conversation that is unfolding before you.

I had lunch with a good friend Friday and he was sharing about how his mother was dying. I was able to engage in the conversation with my whole heart because of my years as a Hospice Social Worker. I was grateful for the experience I had in Hospice and marveled in the moment of connecting deeply with my dear Calvin Prof and advisor…

I had a conversation with a lady at the gym. She was new to the Kroc center and had a perplexed look on her face. I paused, smiled, said hello, and began a conversation. I learned she was new to the gym and did not know how to use the NuStep. Because of her weight, this was the only piece of equipment she could use. My mind flashed back to my amazing two weeks with O’Neal Hampton. O’Neal shared often how the NuStep was the only piece of equipment he could use at first on Biggest Loser due to his weight and condition of his knees.

I was able to share a bit of his story with her and she wept and said she felt hopeful after our conversation. I was able to show her how to use the NuStep. I went to the treadmill and she went to work on the NuStep. I marveled in the moment!

As I become more aware of how to marvel, I find it isn’t always about an exchange with another. I have found that I can also marvel in a moment when i am alone. I enjoyed some hammock time today. As I laid there, listening to music, I marveled at the moment, remembering how difficult it used to be to allow myself to relax. I was very grateful.

As I leave my inside doors open tonight to allow for good flow of cool air, I realize I no longer have to secure Dutch to my bedroom at night. As I think about why that is, I realize it is because I no longer have any food that Dutch can access since all of my dog appealing food has been removed from my diet. I am thankful for new habits that are about healthy eating and therefore can have my air circulation flowing more freely tonight. Crazy as it is, I marvel in this moment….

I wonder what kind of moments you might marvel in? I do believe that the moments when I marvel are moments that provoke a sense of gratitude in my heart for something in life. They aren’t always easy times, but they are times where meaning and value continue to become clearer all the time.

I hope this is a week where you are able to marvel away!

I have a few thoughts I thought I was going to write on today. But tonight, after a trip to Urgent Care due to a Kidney Stone, I am going to save my thoughts on marveling in the moment for another day. Tonight I want to share with you a great email I received from my dear friend Betty Lee. She knew I would love this. So much so, i wanted to share it as well…..

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: In 5 years, will this matter’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.