Board meetings awaken my passion….

I am starting to think that perhaps I am a bit of an odd ball. I am finding that I really enjoy serving on boards. I find that these board meetings awaken my passion!

Currently I am serving on the Rescue One Board (http://rescue-one.org/

Rescue One provides tuition for the local Christian school, clothing and a daily meal for each child we serve.  Most children return to their families each day.  Some live in an orphanage for the school week, returning home with additional food on the weekends.   Sometimes having their child fed and educated allows parents to keep their child at home and not release him/her into the Restavec system.   By limiting our program to one child per family, we are able to have an impact on many families.

The children also have an opportunity to attend a week of Christian summer camp where they learn life skills, receive health care and sex education, and enjoy a week of fun.

The churches use their contact with the families to show Christian mercy, provide educational information, and enfold the family into their community of believers.

I serve on the Open Hearts Ministry Board. (http://www.ohmin.org/)
Love God, Love Eachother. One story at a time
 
Open Hearts grew out of a response to the pain of sexual abuse that surfaced in 1988 after the presentation of Dr. Dan Allender’s “Wounded Heart Seminar” in Kalamazoo, MI. Groups formed and stories of abuse, long hidden, were brought to light. The learning curve was high in those early years as a biblically based curriculum was developed and group leaders gained experience. Soon others were asking for training so that they could take this ministry to their communities. SALTS was birthed in response to this need in 1993. Originally focusing on women, the men’s program was added in 1997. By 1998 organizational needs had grown to a point that a charitable 501 (c) 3 was established and Open Hearts Ministry grew rapidly to include men and women with a focus on recovery and restoration from all kinds of soul harming experiences. Today a network of leaders scattered around the world offer Grace Groups to their communities. Training and curriculum resources are offered for starting groups, continuing groups and for couples who want to extend what they are learning as individuals to their marriages and families.
 
I serve on the Ready For Life Board (http://www.rflnetwork.org)
 
RFL is a passionate non-profit that fosters inclusive communities, thus cultivating opportunities for people with disabilities to grow, learn, achieve, and experience everything life offers. There is a work and skills program: “To empower adults with developmental disabilities by providing community based work and life skills training in order to help each individual achieve their greatest level of independence and promote inclusion.” There is a social skills program: Ready For Life Horizons is an inclusive recreational, leisure and activity service for community members aged 18 years and older experiencing physical or developmental disabilities. Ready For Life is partnered with Calvin College Residence Hall Beets-Veenstra (BV) to coordinate and host one to two large social events each month from September through May. Events range from holiday parties to movies to bowling, and much more. And there is an education program at Hope and Calvin College: “To educate and empower adults with developmental disabilities by providing a supportive and structured college experience in order to help each individual achieve their greatest level of independence and promote inclusion.”
 
And Friday I will have coffee about one more board that is very near to my heart. 
 
And so each board has a different mission but there is a common theme I am passionate about: ADVOCACY
 
I believe I was wired to be an advocate. I used to believe I had to be doing the advocacy. I have learned about the benefit of doing it and being involved in the strategy and accountability of the services offered. I have learned so much through Open Hearts Ministry about loving and leading well. About speaking with honesty and grace and listening hard. I have learned that we all need to be reigned in at times and we all need to be drawn out at times. I have learned that people are resourceful and resilient and will achieve all they believe they can. I don’t believe advocacy is about rescue but about vision. I am thankful for those who had vision for me when I couldn’t find my glasses. I wonder who you are casting vision for this week…I wonder who has cast vision for you…..
 
Where is your passion and what boards would you like to serve on if the opportunity arises. I believe my passion for the causes keeps my heart beating for true life!

Three years old and full of life…..

Today my youngest niece turned 3….

It seems like just yesterday I was stocking up on pink clothes for her from Baby Gap. I believe the 3 to 6 month clothing looked so big!

Today she is a curly headed, intense, fun, funny, talkative, sweet, engaging little girl! 

Johanna loves the world of pretend and has a very kind and inviting way of engaging each of us to join in and play.

Johanna loves to sing and her current favorites, often performed at Sunday coffee hour are Angels we have heard on high. Baa Baa Black Sheep, Jesus, what a wonderful name and My God is so Big, so strong and so mighty…

Johanna is learning about friendships and sharing.

Johanna is learning about manners and saying hello and good-bye. She was very proud to announce that she can now say hello Beppe or Hello Papa all by herself, just like her brothers.

 

Johanna loves her family. Her Mom is her all time favorite but she is quite fond as well of her Dad and brothers. She enjoys time with her Papa and Beppe and most others as long as the group stays small and she is given ample time to warm up!

Johanna is telling wonderful tall tales of lions who eat her fingers and her Daddy saves her and many other very cute and outrageous events.

Oh Johanna, you are a delight and I love the happiness in your sweet voice. My favorite right now is how you answer “shure” to most anything asked of you, unless you’re in a contrary moment. I can’t wait to enjoy you being three. I am sure we will go swimming and watch video’s and play with your pink ball and go to target and sing in the car and talk and talk and talk some more. I know we will have many fun times this year and you will be delighted in and loved deeply by your family. Happy Happy Birthday Johanna! I love you with all my heart!

Dear Mom….

I love this picture and have it in a place on my computer that I see it often.

It reminds me of how long we have been together…

I love your smile back then and I still see that full smile today…

I seem to be saying something in this picture, I still have much to say today.

Thank you for being one who listens to me so often.

I would guess we spent a lot of time together back then, and I love the time we spend together now!

I know for many years I was dependent on you. Then the years came when it seemed right to be independent. I am thankful for the season now of being interdependent. I see this season in my life as a true gift for all we share!

Most of all  I so enjoy the relationship we share. The conversation and the laughter, the honesty, the encouragement, the travels to far away lands and the moments of enjoying time right at home, the sharing of life, love, laughter, sorrow, sadness, frustration, joy, delight, mystery, family, friends, hours at the gym or mastering big hills by bike.

As I drove home today I noticed how many people were at the cemetery, and my guess would be they were remembering their mothers. In those moments, my gratitude deepened for the time we have right now. I know that you are not the young woman anymore in the picture above (nor am I), and I am reminded to live each day fully. I am thankful that you continue to deepen your commitment to relationships. I am a different person because of that commitment and I thank you. I love you Mom and look forward to what each day ahead will hold.  Happy Mothers Day!   All my love,   Trish

Is Mother’s Day a celebration for you?

I often wonder about this question over Mother’s Day weekend.

Perhaps it is from my adoption work and knowing many stories of deep longing and the battle with infertility that raises the question….

Perhaps it is the many people I work with every day who are watching their mother’s sink deeper into dementia and aging that makes me wonder if this weekend is a celebration….

Perhaps it is in the prevalence of divorced homes that makes me wonder if any one encouraged children in single parent homes to remember their mothers with a small gift or extra attention or kind words…

Perhaps it is for those who long to be married and have a family, people who wonder what their future holds, people who have given up hope of becoming a mother…

Perhaps it is the many stories we hear every day of teens killed. Perhaps there are mother’s who want nothing more than to wake up to their child’s voice in the morning, wishing them a Happy Mothers Day!

And yet for all of those faces and stories, there are very happy homes where Mothers are celebrated and loved in wonderful ways tomorrow.

I posted this on Face Book tonight: I love how my family celebrates mother’s day. You don’t have to have birthed the children to be treated extra special. Thankful to my Mom and Dad  (and each of my siblings) for totally honoring and celebrating my life as a single woman! ♥

I wonder how you will be celebrated or how you will celebrate your own mother or other’s around you. I am praying that each person will experience deep joy and peace as they give and receive. I pray that if this Mother’s Day is filled with more grief than joy, you will find people who will embrace you and be willing to stand with you in your pain. I pray that our cerebration will be specific, joy filled and sensitive in all those we see and speak with. .

I will write my own Mom a letter tomorrow and share it with you tomorrow evening.

It is my hope that on this Mother’s Day in 2012, you will live intentional and generous in your gratitude!

 

Love Changes Everything….

I went to The Pops tonight and came home singing this song….

I love the lyrics and the depth of truth that resonates within it.

I have a few favorite lines…

Love,
Love changes everything:
How you live and

How you die

Having worked for Hospice, I find this line to be so true. It is my prayer for everyone, that we may be loved well in our living and in our dying….

And the other favorite part, which I find so true is:

Love,
Love changes everything:
Pain is deeper
Than before.

It feels odd to me that the more I love the more I feel pain.  I spent a lot of years dead to my heart. I was proud of that fact that I felt very little. My heart was awakened by beautiful people who loved me well. When my heart work up, I felt love and I felt pain and I began to realize the truth of the words in this beautiful song. I am thankful for love that awakened me to pain and never ever let me be the same!

Love,
Love changes everything:
Hands and faces,
Earth and sky,
Love,
Love changes everything:
How you live and
How you die

Love
Can make the summer fly,
Or a night
Seem like a lifetime.

Yes, Love,
Love changes everything:
Now I tremble
At your name.
Nothing in the
World will ever
Be the same.

Love,
Love changes everything:
Days are longer,
Words mean more.
Love,
Love changes everything:
Pain is deeper
Than before.

Love
Will turn your world around,
And that world
Will last for ever.

Yes, Love,
Love changes everything,
Brings you glory,
Brings you shame.
Nothing in the
World will ever
Be the same.

Off
Into the world we go,
Planning futures,
Shaping years.
Love,
Bursts in, and suddenly
All our wisdom
Disappears.

Love
Makes fools of everyone:
All the rules
We make are broken.

Yes, Love,
Love changes everyone.
Live or perish
In its flame.
Love will never,
Never let you
Be the same.

And in my office, on our wall, I have the quote: Person to person, moment to moment, as we love, we change the world. Samahria Lyte Kaufman

Somehow it all really seems to go together!

Go and love boldly!

What song are you singing….

My niece Olivia posted this quote today and it made me smile.

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. Voltaire

I began to wonder about my shipwreck and my song. I know my song is more of a song and less of a whine if I fill my mind with positive thoughts. And so I went back through my journal and found some of my favorite quotes.

To laugh often and love much… to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one’s self… this is to have succeeded.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.- Aristotle

You must be the change you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.- Hugh Downs

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. – Sir Winston Churchill

Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.- Unknown

I wonder what thoughts fill your mind each day…

I find that if my mind is thinking neutral to negative thoughts, it is time to pull out my journal and read some lyrics to favorite songs or focus in on some favorite quotes.

I don’t believe positive thinking erases the struggles we have, for in every life there is a shipwreck and a life boat. It is my hope that I will move through my struggles with more ease if I remember that my life is not all about struggle. I am thankful that even in the ache, there are seeds of joy being nurtured!

May you find your song today in your shipwreck and your life boat!

 

 

 

Sports and perspective….

Today I packed up my car and along with my Mom and my niece Anneliese, we headed to Detroit to catch a Middle School Track Meet and a High School Soccer game. I don’t quickly decide to spend 4.5 hours on the road for sporting events, but if my nieces or nephews are participating, it makes my decision pretty easy.

There are things I want to share about tonight, in a blog tomorrow. Because tonight I kept thinking about a post my friend wrote and wanted to share that with you. I think that youth sports today requires the parents to keep life in perspective. I am thrilled to say that my brother and sister-in-law do just that. My friend Laurie also talks about the balance needed….

I feel for parents and kids today as they navigate where sports fits into one’s day-to-day and how these experiences shape them. There are wonderful opportunities and there are some significant risks….

I am thankful that my siblings continue to nurture and love their children regardless of the outcome on the field. And I am proud to say, that through my eyes, every one of the kids I know, and their friends, are incredible athletes. Click on the link below to the Guikema Gang Post and marvel at the parenting of my friend Laurie……

Guikema Gang Post

 

 

 

Adoption changes lives…

I had the incredible opportunity to be an Adoption Social Worker for almost ten years. I remember my adoption families as if it was just yesterday that I sat in their living rooms for hours on end. We talked about their stories and how they were anticipating new chapters to that story. We talked about the joy and the heart ache that may come in those chapters. And we talked about the joy and the sorrows of the past chapters. We talked about how sometimes love isn’t enough and we talked about the power of love. We talked about how kids learn to be self-reliant when they spend time in an orphanage. We talked about culture, family, siblings, bonding, attachment, transitions, language, jet lag, finances, marriage and so much more.

And with all that talking and the prayer and the support and the community, I still had to say, your journey is unknown and will require you to be committed through the worst of days and the dark of night. There will be celebration and their will be days you wonder why you took this big risk.

And there are stories of delight and there are stories of heartache and despair. There are bonds that continue to grow still years later and there are couples who still feel the grieving pain of a disrupted adoption.

Adoption is not an easy journey, but it is a worthwhile one!

I have a heart full of children who are dear to my heart.

I have a heart full of love for parents and families who dared to expand their story with the journey of adoption.

I am celebrating today with my friend who met her daughter five years ago today in China. Back then this little five-year old was a bundle of life but full of mystery. Today she is beautiful and insightful, much more predictable and deeply loved. Her mother knows her inside and out and posted this today on face book: Celebrating 5 years ago today Caili and I became a family! How fast those five years have gone and what a blessing they have been. Last night she gave thanks to God for making us a family and bringing her here to the US to live and for all the great things she now has, friends, family, a home and a warm bed.

I love this kid and I pray for her and her Mom (my long time friend) every day. They have come through so much and today, their five-year anniversary gotcha day, is really one to be celebrated.

I am looking forward to the continuing unfolding of this story…..

Much love to all “my” families. You all hold a very special place in my heart!

Living on the edge….

I love this inspirational saying:

I have it painted on the wall in my office and I have it framed here at home. I have a journal that has it on the cover and I have it embedded in my heart.

I am not even close to living to the edge of my possibility. When I journal on all this saying holds for me, I am surprised where fear holds me back. When I think of living on the edge of all my possibility, I realize there is an energy in me that feels almost electric.

I wonder if you dare to dream of how you would live differently if you lived to the edge of all your possibility!

I wonder if you can envision what steps you would take towards the edge and start to take them…

I wonder if you can feel some of the same electric energy when you embrace this inspirational saying by Maryanne Radmacher.

There are places I thought I was on the edge, and then I found that God expanded my horizons and stretched my boundaries. Life is exciting and holds so many invitations to live life fully. I made a list tonight of places I can continue to journey to the edge…

I plan to continue that journey each day!

 

An invitation to live by….

I saw this today and love all it invited me to….

Live without pretending….I strive to live true to my heart and all it holds in a passing moment. As I have journeyed to my heart I have learned that to live without pretending requires me to live honestly with my thoughts, emotions, celebrations and struggles. I find to live without pretending invites me to practice honesty, commit to integrity and I am often amazed how honest living invites deep connection with others around me!

Love without depending…this one always makes me think a moment. I want to trust enough to depend and I believe that is a healthy thing. But I have very much been caught in the co-dependent type of loving before, believing if I love you then you better do this or that for me. I do find my heart to be more free when I love freely….

Listen without defending…I have learned that to Listen well is an excellent gift! I have learned that to listen well is to set aside judgement and defense. I have learned that when I begin an internal dialogue to what I am hearing, I am not listening well. I believe to love others well is to Listen without defending….

Speak without offending…and so the invitation to recognize that my words have impact. I must recognize that there is my intent and there is my impact and I am committed to be sensitive to both. And of course my commitment to live without pretending invites me to be honest in the face of conflict and disagreement in the event someone is offended. May I be willing to speak the truth in love and know when to speak and when to remain silent. There is maturity in both.

And so, I see this as  a wonderful saying and a loaded invitation.

If I focus on just these four invitations this week, I believe I will have much to practice!