Journey to my heart….

I have a favorite picture. I love this picture because it is represents the gift of laughter we shared as a family when Len and my Dad were both still living.

I have a favorite video from the last few weeks as my great nephew shared his gift of laughter. You can just imagine how funny this pig really must be!

Today i was out taking pictures of my niece and her dear sweet friend, this is the word that stuck out to us. 

And you can almost hear the delight come out of this image! I so enjoyed the presence of my older nieces and nephews as well this weekend and I recorded this video as their laughter brought sheer joy to my heart!

At the end of another week, in a world that feels burdened with so much pain and sorrow, I find myself grateful for laughter and for the people I share it with. May you all experience a moment of joy today!

I have been thinking today about balance. I saw a teeter-totter on my way to work, and that got me thinking about balance. I remember getting on one as a child and trying to find a way to balance it. Even if we were close, something always tipped the scales, and we would squeal in delight as one person flew upward and the other hit the ground with a thud!

Then I had a conversation with someone about finding balance in their routines. I realized that finding balance as an adult is not near as fun as playing on the teeter-totter. The conversation brought my friend to tears. “How come I can’t figure out what balance? She asked in a pleading voice.
The conversation that followed felt important. Who or what defines balance for our lives? It likely isn’t as hard as it feels if we can step back and evaluate our definition and then naming where we are off-kilter. My friend put words to wanting to be her introverted self, and she is committed to engaging her friendly extroverted spirit. As we began to list out her introverted activities and her extroverted activities, she began to realize her introverted list was significantly longer. I asked her why that might be? She replied. COVID, fear, and lack of confidence.

With that, we had named what was standing in the way of balance. Often I find we want answers about our activities, but perhaps some of what is standing in your way to balance can be named as emotions or external realities.

There is such a gift in knowing yourself and what you need to find balance in your soul. The teeter-totter is always more fun when you aren’t thudding to the bottom every time. Every once in a while, you may hit bottom. I think it is best to squeal in delight as you push yourself back into the margins of balance. When you feel off-kilter, envision your teeter-totter and lighten up your thoughts and attitudes. It just might be that easy!

Tonight I had a church meeting. We talked about the power of restorative circles. There is something about restorative circles that I wish we could normalize in our communities. I do feel strongly that perhaps the Faith communities should lead the way in this practice.

I invite you to be curious about restorative circles.

I am familiar with this concept from my small group work with Open Hearts Ministries, my school board leadership at Living Stones Academy, and tonight heard about the power of restorative circles used at Sherman Street Christian Reformed Church. Perhaps you are aware of other places this method has proven beneficial to a community seeking understanding and unity. 

Restorative practices are a social science that studies how to improve and repair relationships between people and communities. The purpose is to build healthy communities, increase social capital, decrease crime and antisocial behavior, repair harm, and restore relationships.[1] It ties together research in various social science fields, including education, psychology, social work, criminology, sociology, organizational development, and leadership.

Restorative circles are restorative discipline strategies you can use in your classrooms (small groups or congregations) to develop relationships, build communities, and respond to conflicts and problems that arise. With restorative circles, you give everyone an equal opportunity to speak and listen.

Tonight I learned how a congregation might use a restorative circle. Restorative circles are comprised of anyone who will be impacted by a change that is going to be made within a community. An invitation is extended, and groups are formed as they are signed up. As in leadership does not engineer the makeup of a group. Everyone answers the same set of questions, and in this scenario, questions are given ahead of time, so there were no surprises. One can only speak when holding the speaking piece, such as a heart rock or small cross. One individual answers the questions and passes on the speaking piece to the next person. There are no questions, no comments, and no clarifying. The group is simply present to listen and receive the answers given. When the questions are answered, you represent only your thoughts and opinions and do not speak on others’ behalf. 

I am a big fan of restorative circles and bring unity, understanding, and healing to the community. As a person who sometimes uses too many words, I am grateful when a structure invites everyone’s voice to be heard. I am thankful when a system is set and invites every individual to share their thoughts, fears, hopes, and beliefs. 

I hope my Church will begin using restorative circles and practice the skill of listening well and receiving the thoughts, fears, hopes, and beliefs of others with a full embrace. 

I hope your Church will consider this also. I am pretty sure there will be more blogs about this process in the months ahead. 

May we listen well to one another and set judgments aside, 

Blessed be His name!

 

 

 

I am often the one doing the counseling, as I am a lover of stories and have seen clients on and off for the last 20 years. Recently I returned to the counseling office as a client, not the counselor.

I felt a lot of things as I contemplated entering into this relationship at this time of my life. I am not in crisis, and I am aware of some spaces I am longing for something different. I continue to miss my brother and my Dad. I believe that grief is part of living, and it is helpful to share the stories for healing. Sorrow doesn’t come just in the loss of life, and embracing all my heart holds feels important. I used to deny so much of it and I like the spaces I am in, even how I am entering into the unknown.

As I began to share, it was good to hear my voice reflecting where I have come from and what I would like to explore. My heart felt connected as I spoke words of truth and exposing vulnerability.

I am aware that there are spaces I feel disconnected, and there is work to be done. I am encouraged, curious, hopeful, and grateful for the journey.

I wonder what your internal dialogue is about counseling and creating space to explore your story. If you need encouragement to pursue what is good for your soul, take this blog as a kind nudge to inquire and set up the first appointment. You don’t have to have all the answer about where you are going

More and more, I believe that being able to accept help is both a decision and an art. I have many conversations every week with adult children asking how to talk their parents into receiving support.

Today I had a delightful conversation with a 95-year-old woman. I met with her and her children to discuss her “need” for help. She has a beautiful support system in her adult children, and there are likely some areas that she could use some additional assistance.

The conversation moved along nicely. It was kind but honest. It was amazing to see this dear woman’s sharpness of mind. It became evident to me about halfway through our meeting that I was engaging in conversation that felt like I was trying to convince her she needed assistance. I rarely find that beneficial. I shifted my approach and affirmed that she was still competent to do the tasks that we were discussing. But what if it wasn’t about capable or not? What if it was about providing support and energy conservation to enjoy some different things each day.

I wonder how we can normalize receiving help so that getting help doesn’t feel so threatening or difficult to accept when we are older. I wonder how often we take the help of others in our younger years. Are we prone to accept and stand in gratitude for someone’s kindness? Or are we inclined to wonder why they think we need help and communicate we can handle it? What messages are we passing on to the next generation as they watch our ways?

I always enjoy conversations of this nature. It is an opportunity to affirm strengths and identify areas of vulnerability. It is always an opportunity to invite someone to consider how it would be if the help was offered, not to minimize what one is capable of but to bring an element of assistance, safety, and/or rest.

• And so, at the end of this day, I leave you with these thoughts:
• How good are you at offering and receiving assistance?
  When you offer help, are you able to affirm strengths and not focus on vulnerabilities?
• How gracious are you when you are the receiver? Are you able to see the good intentions of the one who is offering? Are you able to recognize the blessing of support that will come to you?
• Who in your circles can you offer some support to in the coming weeks?
• Consider making a meal, running some errands, gathering the mail for someone in your neighborhood who struggles with this task, or doing the laundry for someone who can no longer navigate the stairs.
• Be creative, be kind, honor the space you are standing in and remind them that accepting help is something we can all practice. Because after all, “accepting help is its own kind of strength!”

I have been thinking about the many people I know whose first language is not English. As a middle-aged woman who only took Latin in High School, I greatly admire my bi and multi-lingual friends.

This is one of my favorite pictures, as it is my parents surrounded by their dear friends from Burma. When my parents met them at the airport, English was a foreign language to them. Now, many years later, they speak well and write beautifully. My parents immigrated and were once in the same space, where English was a foreign language. Between my parents and these dear friends from Burma, there has always been empathy and understanding. It has been a beautiful thing to witness and a privilege to be a part of their unfolding friendships.
I wonder if you know people for whom English is a second language. Take time to affirm them and comment on the courage it has taken over many years to stay faithful to their task. Tonight I came across this, and it reminded me just how complex our language can be. My admiration is never-ending for those for whom English is a second language. I will forever admire your commitment and tenacity!

 

I remember last year in the midst of the newness of the pandemic feeling so odd with Good Friday and Easter. There was none of what we had always done in the past. I remember journaling, “none of what is going on around us changes the tragic miracle of Good Friday and Easter.”

The same remains true today and I hope that your heart is tender to the season of Lent and the upcoming Good Friday and Easter even though this year we are pandemic fatigued.

I want to share two of my favorite songs that I listen to often in this season and will listen to daily in the days between now and Good Friday. What I like most is the naming of the horrific with the miracle. The tragedy and the hope. The death and the life.

I believe the lyrics say it all. May these songs be a part of your journey to the cross this year.

Blessed be His Name

I started a new book this morning. I have to smile when I am highlighting something in the acknowledgments. But this feels important and worth naming. “Each of us is a product of the people, communities, institutions, and larger societies that have formed us into the persons we are.”

Often in my Social Work field, I find that individuals are more willing to deny than embrace the truth of the statement above. As we get older, we see the value in naming and claiming all of those above influences. As I often remind people, sometimes we are most shaped in the struggle. It doesn’t make every mark easy or even pleasant, but it is forever a part of our story if we are shaped by something. 

What or who has significantly impacted you in the past to make you who you are today?

What are the top 3 beliefs you hold about people or relationships, and where did those come from? Do you believe them to be true today? Do your thoughts match your heart and love for people, or do they come from what you picked up as a belief in childhood?

I find the acknowledgment of my new read so good. I can’t wait to get into chapter one, but since we are losing an hour, I will call it a day. 

I am grateful for the people that have shaped me and continue to shape me today! 

Blessed be His name!

 

 

 

Remember, last week, I encouraged you to take a few pictures this week. I want to share a few with you from this week.
I smile every time I walk by this plant. Because I had no idea, a house plant could bring such joy. The flowers, the flowers’ color, and the plant’s growth bring such delight to my soul.
My Mom has always been a lover of plants, and it is incredible to me how she knows just how to tend to them. I am naming this as one of my new passions in my 50’s.

 

This picture makes me smile from ear to ear. Willa turned five months on March 3rd, and she loves to play. She has discovered her love for a ball and even more for a good fetch game any time of day or night. Willa also has a great passion for leaping from the back deck.

I have never quite received a delivery like the one that came this week. It had been shipped from Europe and came to my house right from the boat. :-)I feel a bit like the crazy 51-year-old dog lady. And Willa and I are excited to bike to work and enjoy being outdoors in all kinds of adventures.

And the final picture of the week is from just a few hours ago. We went to see Henry’s new home and enjoyed a fun and delightful evening together. Henry is living life well and finding his way and I am so proud! I will always look at this picture tonight and remember that it was a night of goodness and an evening when I could see how God has prepared the way for Henry’s return to school for his Nursing degree. Our world is a better place because you are in it. Love to you Henry!

It was a busy week

It was a sunny week

It was a week again of God’s provision and goodness, most often revealed through the beauty of others.

 

Today I put out a new welcome mat at the office. I saw it, and I thought, YES, that is the message we would love to convey to anyone entering our space. We work hard at Visiting Angels to ensure that people come before most everything else. We are about honoring and loving whoever crosses our path.

I hope that if you enter into my space at work or home, you will feel the joy and delight of my soul expressing to you; Yay, you’re here! Wilhelmina Hope (Willa for short) will also fully delight in your arrival and greet you with an abundance of joy!

I hope that you also welcome people into your spaces with such a creative and delightful message. No matter where you enter, home, work, store, or church, may you feel welcomed and embraced by kind and loving people. May together we make this world a better place!