I saw Shadowlands last week. Master Arts put on an excellent play. It reminded me again why I admire CS Lewis. In High School, we had to read Mere Christianity. I did not appreciate his writings then, but since then, some 38 years later, I often find myself reflecting on quotes from CS Lewis.

The other day, I wrote about joy. Today, I have grief in my heart. As my niece is only two weeks away from her wedding day, I feel the absence of my brother, her father, who died in 2012. We have all adjusted in the day-to-day, but then I think of this..“Her/his absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed . It is true, we have adjusted, but his absence is always present. Grief changes us. It does not destroy us, but yes, it changes us!

I am aware that in these two weeks before the wedding, I will do my grief work so the day of the wedding, my heart will not be conflicted with the ache of loss. I will miss Len and his absence will be felt in so many spaces. AND, I want to be fully present in the Joy of Olivia and Sam. If there are moments of grief for them, I want to be with them in their grief, but it feels important for me to give my grief care before the big day!

Being honest about the absence of Len and the grief provoked AND celebrating with my whole heart the joy of the marriage established is something that my heart can hold, and for that, I am grateful!

Grief also presents itself in how I watch our daily events unfold. How we engage one another and how Christians are perceived (some for very good reason) in our world today grieves my soul. This grief feels heavy, and I am tempted to check out, but I must remind myself to keep engaged.  I believe many of us are being challenged to the degree of what we stand for and why. CS Lewis says: It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you merely use it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it? 

Perhaps in this season of life I am being challenged to discover at a deeper level what and who I really trust. It can feel heavy and at times it is. Reality is hard, division is real and having to face the question of how to have a healthy and honest relationship with friends and family, knowing not everything needs to be said but more importantly, being wise about what is and isn’t shared. I pray that in the spaces we share, we will be thoughtful people about how we share our heartfelt convictions.

And in these spaces of question and uncertainty, I miss my Dad, who died in May of 2018. I would like one more conversation, but who am I fooling? I want more of them about all that is unfolding in our world, our community, and my heart. He was a fierce advocate for the Belhar confession, and this confession resonates with me as I know how we are called to face injustice. I miss him for many more reasons, but I miss his voice, wisdom, leadership, and confidence in moving into these spaces that surround us, especially in those spaces right now.

Borgdorff and Belhar

As I go to worship today, I am reminded that God is with us and among us and is still on His throne. He invites my joy and holds my grief. As C.S. Lewis so rightly says, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

Be tender with your grief today,

❤️ Trish

I have a niece who is looking for housing. I have become acutely aware that I only truly understand the struggles many people face when someone I care about experiences them. As much as I dislike that about myself, I am learning this to be true. In this reality, I am learning to grow in my knowledge and commit to advocating for many people’s critical life needs. There is a shortage of housing; there is a shortage of vouchers to help pay for housing, and there is a shortage of resources about where to go while you are on the 2- to 5-year waitlist.

The other significant shortage in our community is infant daycare. When she started calling around, we learned that most people are on the list for daycare about 9 to 12 months before daycare is needed or as early as conception. It makes life and independence pretty challenging when housing and daycare are not accessible to a young woman whose earning potential is not yet in the professional salary range.

In these last months, I have learned so much about housing and daycare, and I have begun to pray daily for mothers and children who need a home and good care. May we all work together to identify solutions that serve those who live lives we have never lived or do not understand. May our compassion and assistance bring hope and change to those we encounter.

❤️ Trish

On August 1, 2003, Ted Boers and Trish Borgdorff opened Visiting Angels of West Michigan for the first time. That day set my heart in motion in a way I could not fully understand.

Ted and Jan were friends of mine from Sunshine Community Church. Ted, about 20 years my senior, was a very successful businessman, but more than that, he and Jan were people I admired and enjoyed as I watched them blend their faith with their daily lives.

We ventured into this 50/50 business partnership. A few years later, Ted told me this business was too “constant” for his personality, and I became the sole owner.  I am grateful for Ted, who took a risk on me as a business partner when I was young and just three years out of grad school.
The past 20+ years have been filled with goodness and a few really difficult situations. I am in awe of the generous spirit of so many caregivers who will give so much to ensure clients’ care and safety.

I am so grateful for those who have served with integrity and loved their clients and families with kindness and respect. The relationships built, the tenderness shared, and the generous giving in living and dying make every day a gift.

My heart swells with gratitude for those who have navigated the daily oversight and administrative tasks with me in the office. It takes a unique mix of compassion and organization, discernment and leadership, spontaneous spirit with structured strategy, and teamwork! I am so aware of each person’s different gifts and how that has given us the synergy to meet the needs of so many individuals and families. Working with the best staff is an honor!

And for all who have invited us into your homes, for the spaces we could bring support, companionship, respite, care, comfort, and hope, we thank you for entrusting us with your loved one or yourself!

The story of Visiting Angels of West Michigan began long ago when Ted and I committed to trying a new business. But Visiting Angels of West Michigan is about a community of people who have expanded the boundaries of my heart, challenged how I think and act, and invited me to live as a business owner with a firm conviction. This conviction is to leave every space we enter into with an abundance of kindness, respect, love, and peace, making every morning an adventure and every evening a space when I say Thank you, Lord, for your provision and protection over all who give and receive care.

There are to many stories I could tell and too many names to share. But if you have journeyed with us in some way or another, you will know you are. To each of you, I say Thank. you, because I have known you, I have been changed for good!

Here is to the next 10 years,

❤️ Trish

Just a few pictures….

I ended my time at Synod 2024 by reading a farewell to the CRC. I spoke with my pastor, and my sister and I worked together to crystalize the wording. It was a moment we had seen coming yet had never imagined being here. Those are the most unusual moments in your heart!

There was such clarity, so the sorrow was not in saying goodbye. The sorrow was more significant in that today’s Christian Reformed Church was no longer the Christian Reformed Church we had grown up in and come to love. In the future, the Church differed from the Church of the past. That seemed clear to everyone. The division centered around churches’ various positions on gender, sexuality, and marriage.

It was not about whether one approved or disapproved. It was about much bigger things. It was about whether Church discipline is implemented, if repentance is mandated, and whether Salvation is at risk.

To that end, I read the following. I share it here because it is an essential piece in the journey to my heart. It is also because my blog is my story for my nieces and nephews and their children and their children’s children.

Grateful to God for clarity and courage,

❤️trish

This is an odd blog title for me. I don’t often start with something like that. But these words are not mine; they have guided me in the last weeks.

As I prepared for Synod 2024 in the Christian Reformed Church, I knew there would be difficult conversations. If they were only difficult, I would be okay, but they had the potential to be so much more than difficult. They had the potential to be divisive.

I prayed for clarity for the week of Synod. I prayed that God would bring peace to my heart and confidence in knowing where He was calling me to stand for His Church.

As the week started, I was overwhelmed by the unfolding clarity. I went to a meal with my Mom on Saturday night (we started Friday morning) and shared with her, “I don’t think there is room for “us” (our family, our affirming Churches, those who believe differently than the majority group) in this denomination anymore. The box seems so small and the pathway so narrow.” We wept together.

Tonight, I read this article:https://www.crcna.org/news-and-events/news/end-era-passing-peter-borgdorff

I was struck by these words, spoken at my Dad’s funeral by Joel Boot.

“It was hard and often painful work, but he did it willingly. He did it because he told me right at the start, ‘I hear God calling, and I have to obey’.’”

I hear God calling, and I have to obey. This guided me the week of Synod and has guided the Churches that took a stand this year at Synod. We did not stand in rebellion. We do not need discipline in this matter. We stood for God’s call. I do not understand what to do when God’s call conflicts between two groups of people. I will remain faithful to God’s calling and trust know that He will always be faithful to me!

I have been writing, even though I have not posted blogs. In some ways, I am surprised to see that my last posted blog was on June 8th. In the previous 21 days, I have missed writing tributes to my sisters Suzi and Jonna, my nieces and nephews, Hannah, Janneke, Matt., Elle, Lauren and Andrew.

I will be posting a number of posts in the coming days. They will reflect some of what the last three weeks have held. I participated as a delegate in our Christian Reformed Church Synod and it was a painful but clarifying process. It brought up so much about how do we live respectfully together in spaces where we see things so differently.

I have missed writing. I have missed the rhythm of ending my day in reflection of both the goodness and the struggles of living, but in the end, knowing God holds us all in his tender care! ❤️ trish

21 years ago, you entered our lives, and we had no idea how you would change our lives in such beautiful ways. Your gentle and steady presence is always welcome. Your curiosity and willingness to engage in questions and conversation make time spent with you enjoyable and never boring. It is fun to hear you remember and reflect, and even better to hear you dream and look ahead!

How can we not post some of our favorite pictures…you bring joy and goodness to everyone you encounter. You have a willing spirit, a good head on your shoulders, a solid heart in your soul, and a willingness to work hard! I am proud of you! I love you and believe that good things will continue to come your way. Dare to risk, be generous with your time and resources, and explore outside your comfort zone.

I love you, Peter, and am so proud of you! ❤️ aunt trish