Tonight we watched an excellent movie. Check out CODA if you need a good, inspiring film. CODA stands for Child Of Deaf Adults. You can imagine the bravery necessary for Ruby, who grew up as the only hearing person in her family of four.
There is a critical point in the movie when Ruby has to consider if bravery is
staying with her family or if it is leaving them. It struck me what a challenging position that was for this young woman. It took my mind from the screen into real life. I thought of my cousins who grew up with a brother with special needs. I think of friends who have navigated the hospital for cancer treatments for one child while the siblings stand by, anticipating the upcoming blood work or scan. Many diagnoses require a sibling to live with more adaptation and protection for a vulnerable sibling.
Do you know someone, either who is a child or who is now an adult, who has been brave for others? They have learned to look out for someone else before considering their needs. And sometimes, when they choose to be courageous and prioritize themself, it feels foreign and provokes a sense of guilt deep in their being.
Consider sharing a word of affirmation, a note in the mail, a text or email, or some gesture of kindness, letting them know you see them and identify them apart from their “role” of protector or provider. Note something unique to them and share it with kind words.
I love my adult friendship with Bert, Michelle, and Bert’s brother Nick. Bert and Nick are my cousins, and Bert, Michelle, and their kids have modeled in such unique ways how to embrace and love Nick, giving him independence and a front door to always walkthrough! I love every moment I can spend with them and their family!
Speak good words to those around you. ❤️ Trish
