I just posted a Facebook post, which provoked my thoughts towards this blog. I have been amazed at the resilience of my body this last year. My lower extremities have been under construction due to the long-term effects of bone spurs in my feet and knees. Today is almost one year since my first failed surgery. Then it went onto unexpected knee replacements, two Excision posterior heel spurs, and Achilles tendon repairs (one on each foot).
I can look at this reality and call myself resilient. Still, there are lots of people who struggle for a year with medical conditions and don’t have the hopeful outcomes I am experiencing. So many people fill the pain clinics, and yet I am so grateful to anticipate pain-free walking again this spring if all goes as planned and projected. They are resilient way beyond what I have gone through!
I struggle with why I am receiving what I hoped for, even if it has been a long year and someone else does not. I don’t understand that, and I am not sure that question can be answered in our human way of thinking.
Why do healthy people die young? Why do some people live to be in their 90s and pray every night for God to take them and others long to live to see their grandchildren grow and disease robs their bodies of life?
Tonight, I am grateful, I want to be honest about that, but knowing that conflicting emotions can both be genuine, I am also conflicted as to why goodness falls to some but not others? Why has goodness fallen to me? In my reflection on that tonight, I have come into some honest journaling and goal-setting. I want to be responsible for the goodness I am receiving. More of that for another blog!
I am confident of this; it is not at all a measure of God’s love or a result of good works or how deep one’s faith is. The one way I can find peace is that there is a mystery in living and dying. Signing off, grateful and perplexed
❤️ Trish