Month: January 2024

Don’t look away…find their eyes!

I wonder if you were taught never to look away from people in pain…

May be an image of text that says 'My mom taught us never to look away from people's pain. The lesson was simple: Don't look away. Don't look down. Don't pretend not to see hurt. Look people in the eye. Even when their pain is overwhelming. And when you are in pain, find the people who can look you in the eye. We need to know we are not alone, especially when we are hurting. This lesson is one of the greatest gifts of my life. -Brene Brown'

I wonder if you have experienced the gift of people maintaining eye contact when you are in pain.

Perhaps the lesson is simple, but the practice is not so simple.

There is healing when you can connect with someone whose compassion can be seen in their eyes, even if no words are offered. I will never forget those moments when someone’s eyes met mine at a time of deep pain or sorrow. Thank you, Betty Lee, Mary Jane, Kim, Amy, Heather, Tracy, John, Jason, Curt and others. Your willingness to meet my eyes is a moment I hold close to my heart.

I hope you are a person who can practice this gift of connection and comfort. Be a person who meets the eyes of others and be the person who is courageous enough to find the eyes of others when you are in need.  ❤️ Trish

What kind of busy are you…

I often feel busy, and I have a growing awareness when my busyness is legitimate and when my busyness is simply an aimless sense of activity. This keeps me disengaged from perhaps more critical or challenging spaces in my life. I have disciplined myself to ask myself, am I too busy for whatever I am up against, and if I am, it is ok, even good, to say no. But if I am not, may I have enough integrity to enter the spaces I am resisting and not allow busyness to keep me from engaging my world more fully! Practicing being busy with new things, such as taking deep breaths, silencing irrational thoughts, and giving it your all to calm your racing heart, is also very beneficial. Be kind to yourself in this ever-changing world. Remember that what you believe needs to be something that feels kind to your mind, body, and soul!      ❤️ Trish

Go Lions…

May be an illustration

I am not much of a football fan, but I am watching The Lions tonight! I am watching them along with ALOT of other people. Tonight is about loyal and hopeful fans. Many people have watched and waited, sometimes in utter despair and frustration, but always returning to hope again. Tonight is thrilling and a bit dreadful, as our lead slips away, but there is a lot of time left, and we could still be Superbowl bound!

I wonder how life would be if we were as loyal to other things as our sports teams. What if we spent as much time building community or working on improving communication skills with our friends or family members? I am all for the fun and memory-making of sports. Still, I am aware of how hard it is to engage faith communities in spiritual disciplines and individuals in being focused on individual health and well-being.

So let’s enjoy the Lions, and hopefully, the games will continue into the Superbowl! But let us also consider giving equal attention or focus to something life-giving in our world and just think about what might change if we are as committed to that as so many Michiganders are to our Lions!

❤️ Trish

 

Don’t forget to get away…

I am writing this blog from Saint Augustine, Florida, where I have never been. We made a quick trip to celebrate my aunt’s birthday. It has been unseasonably warm, much to our surprise and delight, and we have had a lovely time. We don’t do much while away, but just enough to learn about where we have chosen to go. Tomorrow, we catch an early flight home. It is nice to experience something new. Even our card games and conversations feel fresh, and our laughter is much more abundant away from our daily routines!

I am aware that there are new places to explore close to home. Not everything needs a plane ticket or a lot of money. There are places closer to home and much further away to visit, but today, I encourage you to make this true in 2024! I wish I could hear the stories of where you decide to go, how you plan, and what you feel as you anticipate a new experience. And then, of course, the reporting of what you did and what you loved and would do differently is always so fun to know. Because, who knows, maybe somewhere you choose to go is somewhere I would also like to go.  Live your daily routine faithfully, but always sprinkle in adventure as well!  ❤️ Trish

 

 

 

Negotiation Boundaries

I read this and thought of the power of these words. I began to think about who needed to receive this. And that is often when I pause when I first want to give away goodness and not take it in for my heart to feel and embrace.

The phrase that first caught me was that I no longer belong to myself. We are on a girl’s weekend, and today, we talked about the journey each of us has had with therapy. It is so good to be honest, open, and transparent about where our hearts have been or are at. To reflect together about who we are, why we are, and who we are becoming, and the gratitude for the stories, the people, the goodness, and God’s faithfulness!

In our conversation, someone mentioned Noah Kahan’s lyrics Growing Sideways. He uses a line, I’m terrified that I might never have met me. The first thing that is imperative to know if you belong to yourself is to ensure you have met yourself. The journey of knowing, embracing, and loving oneself is discovering how God has uniquely created and gifted you. It isn’t as easy as some Christian cliches, though. It takes time and commitment and is one of the best journeys I have ever taken…to meet, know, and understand what it means to belong in my skin.

I wonder what resonates for you as you read the above. Do you know the struggle between fitting in for someone else and being true to yourself and what you stand for? I believe we have all been there. Consider this concept and let it speak to you. ❤️ Trish

 

 

Hats off to the courageous ones…

When you read Courageous Ones, whose face do you see? Maybe it is someone you know personally, a friend or family member? Perhaps it is someone you think of, such as our Veterans and military or police and firefighters. Or maybe you think of someone you know who is navigating chemo, living with ALS, MS, or one of those problematic diagnoses’. Or do you see the face of someone who has honestly faced the reality of their disease and has signed on with Hospice? As a Hospice Social Worker in my past work, I commend that decision as a brave courage that often goes unmentioned.

18 Inspiring Quotes About Courage from Powerful Women - SOCAP Global SOCAP Global

Tonight, I am seeing the face of someone I hold dear and recognizing an act of courage. I would encourage you to sit down and pull out those notecards and stamps (Thanks, Aunt Shirley, for such a nice note in the mail ❤️) and send a note commending the courage you see in those around you. If you can’t think of anyone, sit and reflect more. If you need help, ask someone close to you who you believe is demonstrating courage in their life right now. Take some time today to tip your hat to the courageous ones!

❤️ Trish

 

Showing up

My sister Suzi wrote and read this at my Dads funeral. There will be other blogs where you learn about the other things we learned but tonight’s theme is the importance of showing up!

I’ve struggled my whole adult life to be able to describe my dad. Was he an introvert or an extrovert? Was he flexible or rigid? Was he serious or silly? Was he patient or irritable? Traditional or progressive? Diligent or reckless? The answer to all of these questions is yes. He was all of these things depending on the space and the company and his mood. I wrestled with how to remember him with you today since not all of you got to see him as we did. So, instead of trying to describe him with elusive adjectives, we decided to listen to his life. I asked my siblings and nieces and nephews to spend some time reflecting on what Papa’s life taught them about who he was and who we are. What comes next is a compilation of seven things we heard when we listened to how he chose to live.

  1. Show up. Show up to church when your community gathers to worship. Show up for your friends when hard things happen. Show up for your family when they perform or play in a game or celebrate a milestone and lock their keys in their car again. He loved to solve our problems. If someone he liked was stirring the pot for a just cause, he would grab a spoon, show up and stir that pot with them. He was with us, and I dare say many of you, in real and tangible ways when we needed someone just like him to show up.
    • We all learned the value of showing up and now almost 6 years later, my Dad would be so proud of how we all continue to show up and delight in one another’s presence. The group of kids, young adults and adults know what it means to show up for each other.
    • The video below is just a little bit of what it feels like when someone chooses to show up for you.
    • I hope you have learned the importance of showing up and experienced being shown up for. Make time today, tomorrow and the next day for someone. Stop and say hello to a lonely soul or celebrate the kindness of a neighbor. Consider being present for a sibling, parent, niece or nephew. Once you start showing up, the opportunities are endless! ❤️Trish
Showing up matters

Beauty at home and in faraway places…

As I looked through some photos tonight, I came across this picture. I paused and felt everything in me stop and yearn for this space. This is a space that represents almost perfect peace. This was the upstairs sitting room/bedroom of our Air BNB in Norway. There is just something so right about all it represents.

It was an accomplishment to arrive here. It was our first international travel after my Dad died. It was an adventure to travel to a country where we knew no one but came to bear witness to the land’s beauty. It was a place my Mom had wanted to visit, so we made it happen for her 80th birthday. Sitting in this space represented so much goodness and a quiet place to take it all in.

I want to stop more in my everyday routines and take it all in. I wonder if you have a way of doing that? Sometimes, I miss the bearing witness moments in my hometown cause I am running by them with my focus on the next thing. Sometimes, I miss the beauty surrounding me, in nature or people or unexpected ways, because I don’t expect to see any beauty in the spaces I travel daily.

The beauty of Norway is breathtaking. It is unforgettable, and the pictures will forever invite me back in a way that I hope my body memory will not forget. I am also grateful for the beauty in my life at home. May I be in awe of this and find the same deep peace with all I am surrounded by!

I hope you also will discover glorious moments of remembering in the places you have experienced goodness, both in faraway places and in your hometown!       ❤️ Trish

It is so gezellig…

A Dutch word for a cozy, comfy room; a warm and welcoming gathering, or a feeling of belonging

This has become one of our favorite Dutch words. It is a descriptive word that is also fun to say. It describes so many good moments. Moments when everything seems right in the world. Moments when you are with your people and want time to stand still. It is a word about a cozy space, but it is more than that. It is about something external but also about something that is hard to put words to. It is about the energy you bring, the hospitality, the total package…

Find a person who knows the word, and they can help you understand what makes gezzelig come to be!

Click on the link and practice saying it! Then, set about creating the space and share in understanding what it means to enjoy gezzelig space with those you hold dear!

How to say Gezzelig

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