I am not so good at waiting…
In 2012 when my brother died in a car accident out of state, I can vividly recall the feeling when I learned the coroner had gone home for Christmas. I could not understand how his decision to leave work meant Len’s body would not be released to the funeral home until after the holiday. It put our family in a position of waiting. We had a sense of timing in how things should unfold following a death and a little more than a week between the accident and the funeral felt like way too long.
But in the waiting, we experienced time to grieve together, remember together, sort Len’s things together and laugh and cry together. There was something sweet in the togetherness that happened in the dreaded waiting. God’s presence was real in that week through the words, love, and presence of the community that surrounds us. As I reflected back over the week of waiting in the months following the funeral, I was deeply grateful for the week of waiting, the week I dreaded was a real gift
Ten days ago my Dad suffered a seizure. I remember standing in the ER and learning he would be admitted for testing. It felt in that moment like we would have answers soon as to what was unfolding. Days came and went. I found myself battling frustration that at the end of each day we did not have new information. It has been 10 days of waiting. Tomorrow my Dad has an appointment, and our waiting will come to an end as we learn what the next steps are.
The waiting, although frustrating in some sense, again has felt a bit like a gift. We have had time to be together, to talk and wonder, to pray and laugh and hope, to feel the love of our “village” and to receive words of kindness and grace. This past 10 days has given us time to get used to the idea of what we may hear tomorrow and allowed us to catch our breath after the events of that Monday night only 10 days ago. We have been witness to my parent’s commitment to each other, their deep faith, their vulnerable spaces and their incredible strength. At the end of this day, as I anticipate tomorrow, I am thankful, once again for the waiting.
If you and I were together as you read this, I would ask you about where you have had to wait and what have you taken from the waiting that speaks of God’s goodness and provision. I believe we all have waiting stories. It is my hope and prayer that at the end of each season of waiting, you can also name some of the goodness that was birthed in a time that initially felt like nothing good could come from it!