I appreciate the kind words from many who have shared that they miss my writing. I think almost every day about what I will write about. I love writing and I have missed writing, but I wasn’t sure how to press ahead when everything was fuzzy….
I started to have eye issues in November of 2013. Most everything was blurry and all words showed up in double and triple images. The process of diagnosis was complete and slow. MRI of my brain, neurology appointments, eye scans, blood work, more eye appointments, more neurology appointments, an eye surgery and a cataract surgery. In the end, in the last few weeks, my world has become more clear. I am grateful!
But more clear is not as simple as I thought it would be. My vision is different and I am not reading easily near by or far away yet. I am not sure if the eye is still healing or if this is my new norm, but I began to realize that if I am waiting until everything is clear, I may never write again.
And so I began to consider what if the future is a little fuzzy? This is not just in the literal sense….
I have learned well in my 44 years that no matter how sure I feel about today, tomorrow may hold life changing events. I believe this is true for anyone who is breathing. And so as I consider that, I realize that in reality, a fuzzy future is really not something that should stop me from moving ahead. Now I will say that with a new lens in my eye, the immediate view is more clearly seen. But I still hold some unknowns about how to proceed with focusing and ensuring my vision is the best it can be.
I wonder where your future feels fuzzy? Have you also hit pause on certain areas of your life? I want to invite you to hit play and commit to moving back into the fuzzy picture at a pace that feels comfortable to you.
I am back….
I want to write again….
I want to trust that even when I watch the letters unfold in a blurry fashion, that good can be produced. I want to live honestly about the struggles but recognize that in every day, I am fortunate to experience much more than just a visual struggle.
I have blogs to catch up on. Isaiah turned 8 and Mother’s day has come and gone. I have watched the miracle of my friends triplets and I wonder sometimes where my motivation for optimum health has gone. I am thankful for the lessons learned as I feared a fuzzy future. I am reminded of what I believe. God is faithful to me on good days and bad and regardless of the outcome of my fuzzy future (literal or unknown outcomes), He holds me close and will never let me go….