Month: July 2012

Why…

Perhaps that is the question that went through my mind when I woke up this morning and heard about the tragedy in Colorado…

AURORA, Colo. – A gunman clad in body armor and wearing a gas mask opened fire on moviegoers at a midnight showing of the latest Batman movie Friday, killing 12 and injuring dozens more in one of the deadliest mass shootings in recent U.S. history.

The violent and chaotic scene erupted at about 12:30 a.m. local time as the suspected gunman, identified as 24-year-old James Holmes, stood at the front of one of the Century 16 theaters at the Aurora Mall where “The Dark Knight Rises” was playing. Witnesses reported that the gunman entered the theater through an emergency exit door and authorities said he threw two gas canisters before opening fire. “Then it was a blur,” Spenser Sherman told “CBS This Morning” said. “Then I heard a couple gunshots.””I thought it was part of the movie, like a fun little prank – that it would be over in a few seconds. It obviously wasn’t.”

A shooting in a movie theater and so many lives impacted…

What motivates a 24-year-old to act in such a tragic way…

Is this a result of a generation that has spent hours playing killing video games…

Is this a mental illness….

I can’t imagine the torture of a mother’s(and father’s) heart when their son acts in such a violent way…

Tonight I am watching more news reporting on this tragedy. There are many accounts of the horror and terror, of the grief and the sorrow, of the tragedy and the loss…but it is evident, the one question that can not yet, and may never be, answered is WHY…

 

 

 

 

 

Not easy but worth it…

 

I found this today and have to say that it resonates right now when I think of my wellness goals. I realize that after my surgery and recovery, it is time for me to focus in again and get serious. I have a few events coming up that I have set as my landmarks.

My Mom turns 70 in early October and we are planning to celebrate.

I would love to fit in my goal weight dress and wear it for the birthday happy hour.

We also will be celebrating with updated family pictures…

I would love to feel great about where I am at on my journey on that October Sunday….

I am planning to participate in a mission trip in early 2013. I have discovered flying to be a wonderful way to celebrate changes in my weight and measurements. It is pretty evident when sitting in an airplane seat if I have reached my goals…

I recognize that I am on a journey, and in some places, I have become comfortable in a place that used to feel amazing.

It is time to find that new amazing place again….

I wonder if you ever discovered a new place and celebrated and rested, and then realized there was more to strive for….

Well, let’s get moving and find that new amazing place to celebrate and rest again!

 

 

The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind…

I listened to this song a number of times during my hours of recovery in my hammock…

I love the words and the music and I get to thinking about what questions stir in my heart with the answers blowin’ in the wind..

I really like the depth of the questions and the honesty in the unknown of the answer….

What questions are you asking that have the answers blowin’ in the wind…

How many roads most a man walk down
Before you call him a man ?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand ?
Yes, how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they’re forever banned ?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Yes, how many years can a mountain exist
Before it’s washed to the sea ?
Yes, how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free ?
Yes, how many times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just doesn’t see ?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Yes, how many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky ?
Yes, how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry ?
Yes, how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died ?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

“Blowin’ in the Wind” is a song written by Bob Dylan in 1962 and released on his album The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan in 1963. Although it has been described as aprotest song, it poses a series of rhetorical questions about peace, war and freedom. The refrain “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind” has been described as “impenetrably ambiguous: either the answer is so obvious it is right in your face, or the answer is as intangible as the wind”.[2]

Changes and values…

I came across this quote today….

Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
~ Dalai Lama

I love what it says and it has gotten me thinking….

I remember the classes I took at Calvin that challenged me to put words to my values.

I wonder how often we take time to do that…put voice to our values?

We live in a culture of accepting and embracing change…

We live in a culture of slippery values…

I plan to spend some time journaling again about my values, naming them and putting voice to why they are my values. I don’t believe they have change, but I do believe I understand them differently and in some area they have likely become a bit broader and in some area’s they may have narrowed a bit…

I invite you to do the same… after all, if we are going to open our arms to change but not let go of our values, we need to know and know how to voice what our values are!

Please send the rain…

It is evident in West Michigan that we need rain…

Most grass is brown…

Most flowers are wilted…

Some trees are beginning to lose leaves and the leaves that are on the branches are beginning to curl….

The risk of fire and the reality of fire is reported daily….

I just heard of a golf course that is spending 2100 dollars a day to water….(which seems a bit absurd….)

And today I rode in my Uncle’s pick up and toured his fields. I heard him speak of drought, I saw the effects on the corn, the hay and the other crops. I heard from a man I love and respect, the impact this has on his every day. It is not about green grass or colorful flowers. It is about farming and feed, crops and provision…

When I take time to consider the impact, I feel the urgency…

I came home and read this:

But our area is not alone. Much of the country has experienced similar conditions, possibly resulting in one of the Top 10 droughts in the past 100 years. 
West Michigan hasn’t seen these conditions since summer 1988. Damages from that drought, with inflation, are estimated to be about $78 billion. 
In comparison, Hurricane Katrina caused about $125 billion in damages in the US in 2005. 
The longer the rain stays away, the more damage will be done to lawns, crops and economy. 
It may take a few months, but we could see the effects on our grocery store bills, as food prices could increase as much as 10%. 
Corn, one way or another, affects up to 75% of products on grocery store shelves.

Won’t you join me in praying for rain….

Please Lord, send the rain….

dreaming and planning….

One of the surprises of my 31 days of rest was how easy it was to begin to dream…

I am not talking about the dreaming while I was sleeping…

I am talking about dreaming about opportunity…

And as I was journaling about my dreams, I found myself on the opposite page outlining some of the plans that could make my dreams a reality….

For some of  my dreams, my planning list included financing (saving) as the primary means to reality….

For some of my dreams, my planning list included commitment and self-discipline as the primary means to reality…

For some my dreams, my planning list included reading, studying  and learning as the primary means to reality….

For some of my dreams, my planning is all about spending time with people who I hold dear to my heart….

For all of my dreams, I realized the importance of creating space to create, embrace and wonder about each of them…

For all of my dreams, I realized the importance of being curious why they are birthed and what is behind them…

For all of my dreams, I realized the importance to hold them lightly and entrust them to the test of time,  the unfolding of the planning and God’s provision…

I wonder if you are a dreamer or if you remember when you last dreamed….

I wonder if you are willing to risk putting some planning steps to your dreams and see where it takes you…

I am committed to continue allowing myself space to dream, and I love the idea of giving them breath…

Reentering my world…

I am about to reenter my world. 

Not that I ever really left it, but I did take 31 days and live without time lines and commitments for the most part.

I found that although it seemed like a lot of days on the front end, it has gone by quite quickly.

I no longer feel as if I just had surgery and although I am still easily tired and fighting some nausea, I would say I have recovered well.

I no longer feel as if I am “off duty” as I find myself thinking about my reentry in the coming week….

I am giving lots of thought to living with intention and balance.

I am giving lots of thought to what intention will look like, from the moment I wake up (including what time I wake up) to the end of the day when I say my prayers and go to sleep!

I am giving lots of thought to what balance will look like. How busy do I want to be and how is the best way to stay connected with those I love and not have my calendar overflowing?

I am giving lots of thought to my time, my energy, my health, my finances, my family and friends, my job and my responsibilities….

This week Wednesday my 31 days of rest will be up but my resting will not be over, it will just be mixed in with other things I enjoy.

I have taken time to be kind to myself in recovery and healing.

I have taken time to rest and am reminded that one does not need to be ill to make these choices…..

Part of my journey to wellness is to live with intention and balance, hard work and rest, community and solitude, mundane  and new discovery, routine and spontaneity, tears and laughter, and giving of myself and receiving for myself….

This week Wednesday I am reentering my world and believing I will find wonderful things….