Today I got to thinking about the difference between these three words. I wondered what approach I most often use when I desire to have someone join me in a task or adventure.
I don’t believe that I use command very often. It just isn’t my style. But I know the feeling in my spirit when my energy is one of command/demand, even in my kind voice. I don’t like myself in that space, and I know I am not very inviting there. I am also aware that if I engage with someone who commands/demands, I am not interested in participating.
Do you know the feeling of command/demand? How does that serve you or others if you utilize this communication style regularly?
I have come to recognize that I have a competitive streak in me. I do know what it feels like in my spirit when I am leading with a challenge. When engaging from this space, I am setting up a win/lose mindset. I am either trying to prove something to myself or something to myself about the other person. I do not consider this as a vibrant, life-giving space. I often find that in Church, the Pastor will lead with I challenge you to this. I would instead like to be invited….:-)
How often do you find yourself competing with someone, even if they don’t know you challenged them. What would it be like to set down the competition and live fully present, embracing the moment?
This is the space I want to live in. I live in more tension when I am inviting someone to join me. The pressure comes from naming that I have no control over the outcome. I recognize that I could be disappointed if my invitation isn’t accepted. I balance that with the anticipation that my invitation may be taken, and I would delight in the enjoyment of what is to come. When I genuinely invite, I must pause my thinking from trying to prepare for the other response.
I find invitation the most vulnerable and the most rewarding. Do you know that space for yourself?
I love this quote and believe it invites us to so much more than what I write about here: Nelson Mandela modeled a life of invitation in so many ways. Consider the words, actions, and attitude of your heart. Be curious about where, when, and why the invitation takes the lead in your spaces.
Blessed be His name,