The words of my heart….

The words of my heart are stuck somewhere and the feeling of loss is big today….len family olympics

I can’t find the words to express what I am feeling….

It is the daunting reality that our family will gather for Christmas soon and Len won’t be with us, that each day I carry this loss with me, that somehow this is our new normal and it doesn’t feel normal….

I so admire the honest expression of my 16-year-old niece and my heart breaks as she shares her overwhelming grief as she envisions life without her Dad…

I knew full well on December 23 that Len died and we wouldn’t see him again….

I am now trying to grasp that reality in my heart…..

I know he is in heaven and yes I will see him again, but that doesn’t help my ache to hear his laugh or quick call him….

I am learning that grief comes in waves and recedes…

I know today was just a tidal wave kind of day…

I trust tomorrow will be different in some way….

As I was listening to music tonight I heard these words in a song by The Newsboys…

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don’t have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

I long for the morning….