Month: November 2011

I look at my nephew Peter and he is still so young. He is in bed shortly after 8, loves his Lego’s, snuggles with his parents and is learning more about life every day. And yet, I see how he is growing up. He is taller, more of a conversationalist and has new interests emerging. He can manage to stay up later and looks quite stunning in his bow tie!

Tonight I was babysitting and I helped him with his homework. Every Friday is a spelling test, so there were words to learn and review….

I was amazed how big and hard third grade words are….especially for third graders! 🙂

Words like hypothesis, scientific, scenery, neighborhood….

Words that have silent letters and confusing endings. There were tears and fears as words were practiced. Peter and I studied and reviewed and took breaks and practiced words verbally and in writing. Anxiety increased as my favorite third grader worried about if he would get the words right. When we were done studying tonight,  he would have passed the test, but his last words to me at bedtime was how he hoped everything he learned tonight would be remembered until the test time….

I am ending my day with a very tender spot for kids who are learning new things every day. I remember being a kid for whom learning was not so simple. I feel for parents who at the end of each day need to encourage kids to learn some more….

My heart goes out to all of those who have so much to learn. I trust you will all become Adult Survivors of Childhood….hang in there, some day you can use spell check and it will guide you along!

 

 

Today I had an all day strategic planning meeting for Open Hearts Ministries.

Throughout the day I marveled at how this ministry is all about stories…

Stories of people who journey through life every day….

Stories of people who bless others with their dignity….

Stories of people who are wandering, wondering and searching for deeper meaning and purpose…

And bottom line, Open Hearts Ministries is about

God’s story of redemption…..

And I listened to music on the way home and sang these Sara Groves  lyrics….Believe in the strength and the courage of your soul….

I wonder what would be different if you believed in the strength and the courage of your soul?

My hope for you, as you journey day in and day out…..into the valleys and up mountains….is that you will shape your story with this belief:

 

 

It is November 8, 2011 and I heard Christmas music today on the radio. Not just once, but four times. And I must admit, that each time, I changed the station. Each time I turned it back, I hoped it was just a one time occurence, but after four times, I realized that Christmas music has made an early arrival in my home town.

Now, I enjoy Christmas and I even love the music that goes with the holiday season. I enjoy the fun holiday songs such as Frosty and Rudolph and my favorite still is Grandma got run over by a reindeer. And I enjoy the Christmas music that reminds me how my faith is shaped by the birth of Christ. My crown of thorns amidst my nativity scene reminds me that Christmas begins the celebration of the cradle and the cross.

And so, why do I feel so resistant to the music of the holiday season?

Perhaps it is because I am still marveling at the change of seasons as I watch the leaves change and fall…

Perhaps it is because I want to delight in all I am blessed with during this Thanksgiving season…

Perhaps it is because I have committed to living my life in the moment, as best as I am able. I know the moments of celebration and delight are coming. The moments of the Christmas season. But I must say, it seems as if these days hold other opportunities for me to experience and I don’t want to be distracted by looking too far ahead….

So, am I a Scrooge? I hope not….but even if someone thinks I am, I think I will anticipate the holidays and live fully in this moment…

 

 

I have fond memories of our summer vacations out on Spider Lake in Traverse City, Michigan. My sister Arlene, my cousin Alma and I would take the row-boat out together. We found great pleasure in anchoring it at the island and getting out of the teetering boat, having full confidence the anchor would keep the boat from drifting while we went off to explore.

Perhaps it is that memory that compelled me to purchase and hang up my new favorite wall hanging.

I have had many seasons in life when my anchor of hope was replaced with an anchor of fear, despair, confusion…..

As I look back on those times, I not only found that I drifted far off course, I also found the waters to be very rough.

And I begin to marvel how when I have hope as the anchor to my soul, I may drift and at times feel lost in a storm, but my anchor holds firm!

Tonight I wonder what is anchoring your soul….

Are you familiar with what a solid anchor hope is…

Could it be that you once had hope as an anchor and something or someone replaced your solid anchor with one that doesn’t hold quite as firm…

I encourage you to spend some time finding the anchor of hope and invite others to do the same!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 1, 2011, I made a commitment to blog every day in 2011.

As we are moving into November, I am starting to really believe I am going to make it.

Blogging has been a great way to end each day.

Blogging has invited me to be reflective and curious….

Blogging has brought clarity and insight into my thinking…

Blogging has been an act of discipline and a bundle of surprises in the 348 comments….

Blogging has been a very fun way to document my life this past year….

Thank you to the many of you who have joined in this journey. I am not sure who the 29,001 people are who are reading, but I am grateful for the process of discovery and all I have learned along the way.

So, join me for the rest of November and December as I finish the commitment I made way back in January. And in some ways it seems like yesterday!

And now, to ponder if I am going to make the same commitment for 2012….

There are a few pictures and experiences this week that have shaped my perspective as I continue to journey to wellness.

Sometimes I wish the pounds would come off faster, much faster! My weekly goals have been big and are setting me up for weekly disappointment. I need to be focused on the beauty of one pound. This picture is such a good visual reminder that one pound is really worth celebrating!

And then today I celebrated that my new smallest friend Shiloh hit two pounds. Shiloh was born weighing one pound 11 oz on October 17, 2011. She is gaining by the ounces and I am celebrating that every ounce leads to a pound eventually! I marvel and celebrate at the miracle of this little life. As I celebrate and delight in every ounce that dear Shiloh gains, I will also marvel at every ounce I am losing….I think I will start to think, one ounce at a time!

 

And lastly, last night I took 3 of my favorite kids to see The Smurfs. Sweet Isaiah had fallen asleep on the way home, so I carried him from the car and up the stairs. He is about 50 pounds and I realized that last year at this time, I had that much extra weight on this 41-year-old body. I loved carrying Isaiah and remembering how far I have come.

And in the next six months, I hope to find an 100 pound child to carry around…..just to marvel at how much I used to carry every day!

 

I heard the song tonight, You are Beautiful in my Eyes, and have been humming it for the last few hours.

It goes with the picture I found the other day and has me thinking about beauty….

I can clearly remember moments when my friends or family have affirmed my beauty. Sometimes the words were congruent with where I was at and I felt beautiful. More often, it has spoken to what others may see or experience when I am not feeling it so much.

I am curious tonight how often I take the time to affirm someone’s beauty (or handsomeness). I really want my nieces and nephews to fully embrace that their strength and tenderness, their beauty and their handsomeness come from the core of who they are.

I want to be an aunt, a friend or a family member who is taking time to see, appreciate, embrace and celebrate strength and tenderness, beauty and handsomeness.

How about you, who would be blessed to hear you say the words….you are beautiful in my eyes!

Tonight was Journey Group night and again I am challenged to consider new things this week. I have been involved in small group leadership for 16 years and still with every teaching and small group, I walk away with something new to consider.  Tonight we talked about our style of relating and where we may offer our heart and where we may protect our heart. A style of relating is the characteristic manner of both offering and protecting oneself in social interactions.

It was in this lesson many years ago that I began to understand how I Corinthians 13:11 may apply to my life: When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a (wo)man, I did away with childish things.

As I considered the ways I was relating to family and friends, I realized there were places that I was more concerned with protecting my heart than offering my heart. I realized that I thought if I loved someone else, it required them to love me, I lived believing that I didn’t have much substance and so my focus was to keep the attention on others, instead of sharing my own journey.

Now, if you are a regular reader of my blog, you may know that the journey to my heart has been a journey of the last 16 years and on that journey, I can confidently say I am maturing and learning to put childish ways behind, but it is not something that is mastered and forever behind me. It is a choice I must make in my actions and interactions, day after day, again and again.

I have learned relating well to other’s requires me to understand my story and awaken a curiosity about why I relate the way I do.

I have learned the difference between demanding what I long for and asking for what I need.

I have learned my longings are good but demanding that other’s meet them is not so attractive.

I have learned asking for what I need, doesn’t mean I will always receive it.

I have learned  it requires maturity to be honest about my disappointment rather than to give up on asking for what I need.

I have learned not making a decision causes a lot of chaos in the world of others.

I have learned if you don’t like my decision, it doesn’t mean you don’t love me.

I have learned if you don’t like my decision, it doesn’t mean I am wrong.

I have learned it takes maturity for me to consider changing my decisions based on the input of those I trust.

I have learned it is more beneficial if I don’t make your struggles all about me.

I have learned to love another person well is often complicated in some way.

I have learned that I am a complex person and not always easy to love.

I have learned to say” I am sorry” is often enough.

I have learned when I add BUT to my apology, the impact of my words are often diluted.

I have learned my intent is often very different from my impact.

I have learned my impact is what makes the impression on another person.

I have learned to be curious about my relationships.

I have learned that every day I can identify ways I loved others well.

I have learned that every day I can identify ways I have not loved others well.

I have learned that accepting and embracing myself and  those I love, allows me to grow in ways I would never envision. When I am willing to focus more of my energy on living curious, content, honest and at peace, I find it easier to offer my heart to others.

I am thankful for the journey to my heart….it is a journey that has truly freed me to love myself and others well!

To God be the Glory!

 

 

 

I have spent a lot of time in the recent past thinking about HOPE. 

There have been many tragedies to young families in our community…

There are people very near to my heart who are battling cancer….

There is hunger, unemployment and homelessness all around me…

There is a longing for true community, honest relationships and real living…

I wonder what it is you hope for…..

 

Healing

Freedom

Rest

Play

Honesty

Friendship

Relief

I believe hope can be born in very dark places….

I believe hope can be born in the realization of our dreams…

I have learned that to be hopeful does not take away pain or struggling or make life easy. But when Hope is the anchor of my soul, it allows me a different perspective on the valleys and the mountain tops and all the terrain in between.

I have learned that if I have hope, I can be an encouragement to other’s and journey through dark spaces and celebrate bright moments, both in my own life and to others who cross my path!

So, how hopeful are you today? It is my hope that you will dare to hope for hope itself!

 

 

My puppy is almost three years old and today she caught her first squirrel. She was pretty proud and I was pretty freaked out.

I wasn’t sure how to distract her from her prized possession and she was adamant she wanted to bring it in the house.

I finally got Dutch in the house, without the squirrel and then I, in my foolish state, locked the slider and told Dutch she wasn’t going out there again until the squirrel was gone. I was unsure of what I was going to do to make this happen.

Tonight I am very thankful for my neighbor who sent me the following message:

Squirrel is disposed of. Double bagged and in your garbage. I don’t think it will smell too bad with the cool temps.

One day a few years back, Dutch was skunked and still today, every morning when she goes out in the dark, I take a deep sniff to ensure she has not encountered this dreaded animal.

Now, with my back yard being like a squirrel playground, I will likely look to ensure there is no tail hanging out the side of her mouth as she grins at me.

I am thankful tonight for wonderful neighbors who help me through this difficult experiences of dog ownership. I would like to think I might grow in bravery, but I believe I would rather grow in fondness of Jason and Erin. You guys are the best!