There is something in this Mary Oliver piece that I have held since I read it last week. The tension for me in writing a blog is to consider what to write but not to contemplate it so long that it gets too lengthy or written like I have perfected something. And so I have continued to ask myself, what keeps me returning to this?
When my Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer, he and my mom were faced with the tough decisions so many people face every day. When you are given a life-ending diagnosis, how do you navigate your next steps? My parents had done a lot of talking in the years before they faced this and took time to ask some hard questions of the doctors at the time of diagnosis. Intertwined with the emotional difficulty came the clarity that my Dad was entering a season of letting go.
Seven weeks later, my mom said goodbye to her husband of 50+ years. She journeyed honestly over the years of marriage in loving what is mortal! Through marriage, seminary, raising five children, losing their oldest son when he was 48, retirement from careers they both found so meaningful and being Papa and Beppe to 14 grandchildren, they embodied Mary Oliver’s words.
There were people who, with the best of intentions, when learning that my Dad was not pursuing treatment, asked in a variety of ways, does he not want to live?
When I read this, it answered that question in the most beautiful ways. Yes, my Dad appreciated every day God gave him breath. He lived faithfully, and he lived well. And he and my mom taught us when the time comes, to let it go, to let it go!
Last week, I spent a week with my office staff on a work retreat. The makeup of our group is Olivia in her 20s, Heather in her 40s, me in my 50s, Melissa in her 60s, and my mom in her 80s.
When my mom was reflecting on her gratitude for being active in the business at her age, for being embraced in a group that embraces her fully and expands her world, she reminded us that at 81, she has had a very good life. It is known that, in time, her life will end, for that is how the cycle of life is. She is at peace when it is time to let go, for she has lived well and been loved well! She is transparent, reflective, and honest in putting words to something some people don’t even like to put their thoughts to.
As I reflect tonight on why this Mary Oliver poetry resonates in my soul, I realize it is because my parents have lived these words, and for that, I am so grateful for my Dad and Mom and all they have modeled in living, loving, losing, and letting go! It is well with my soul!
❤️ Trish