I want to share just a little bit of hope tonight for those who hold grief in their being. I came across this post in my Facebook memories, and I am aware that I have feelings around this season held deep in my being.
Posted 3 years ago today: This week, we have experienced events that have been disruptive at almost every level. Monday evening, my Dad suffered a seizure that led to discovering two lesions, one in his lung and one in his brain. This week has been filled with testing, waiting, praying, hoping, wondering, and trusting. In the coming days, we anticipate receiving information that will bring clarity to our next steps. His laptop is often open on the hospital bed. If you would like to email him a note of encouragement. It is the best way for him to know and feel your love at this time.Thank you for standing with us in what is and what is still to come.
This was the first of the posts that documented the 7 weeks from diagnosis to death. We miss my Dad every day. We talk about him, laugh at the memories we have, weep when we need to, and enjoy still hearing about how people knew him. This husband, father, Papa, brother (in-law), pastor, leader, and friend lived a life that mattered.
And our grief is not debilitating or expressed in poignant and public ways. Grief after a significant loss is a kind of grief that you carry in your heart. It is part of who we are now, and we let this river of sorrow intersect with all the other emotions that live within us.
If you know the reality of a river of sorrow that runs through your soul, know that I understand. Let it flow and note where your sorrow grows and fades and where it intersects joy and peace and hope. There is no shame in grief staying with you. It is healthy to remember and reflect and live life both in the joy and the sorrow that is real!
I never want to lose the depth of joy, peace, and hope! I also know that the river of sorrow is where I experience some of the most tender spaces of my heart!
I miss my Dad, and I am so very profoundly grateful for his life. I will remember some events in the memories of the next seven weeks in my body memory. It was one of the most difficult seasons, and it is worth remembering!
Blessed be His name!