Day: September 14, 2014

At Visiting Angels of West Michigan we strive to make changes that improve our quality and delivery of care.  A while back we rolled out a new call-in system which can update our computer with arrival times and ensure caregivers arrive and arrive on time. We made this change for a few reasons. The primary reason is because of the increased number of clients we serve with dementia, it is imperative for us to know that caregivers have arrived and are providing the care even if the client may not be able to recall if anyone was ever there.

I am so grateful that I can count the number of no-show visits on one hand over the last 10 years. But I do recognize that with 100+ visits a day, it is beneficial to be proactive any situations possible. We also find it difficult to manage punctual arrivals when we are in the office and caregivers work all day in the field. This system will provide a healthy accountability.

And so, recently we communicated these changes to 200+ clients and families. I find it delightful to talk with our clients and the conversations often leave me with joy in my heart. We serve a group of people who are generous with their appreciation and gratitude. I realized during this process that there are a few conversations that are marked by a cynical approach. Questions such as “who has ripped you off?” and “don’t you trust anyone?”

I find myself assuring them that we are implementing this to ensure each of our clients receive excellent care. I am struck by the tone of these conversations that stick with me and even though the positive comments are far greater than the cynical, why do the cynical comments stick with me?

I am grateful that I have learned to nurture my thoughts to focus on what is positive.

I am grateful that I have learned to consider the cynic to see if there is truth and if not, to do my best to not allow the negative linger.

I am grateful that I am wired in such a way that I do not use cynicism very often.

And yet, what can I learn from these lingering thoughts?

I am reminded that I have a choice in what I communicate and how I respond.

I am confident I want to leave a positive impact on the conversations I have.

I am grateful that I was able to engage in conversations that were positive and affirming.

I want to be able to offer an abundance of grace, recognizing that cynicism is often birthed in a heart that has been hurt or trust has been violated.

And so, tonight I wonder if you are a cynic? If you are, might you consider where it stems from and how it impacts the people you interact with?

Are you aware of how you react to cynicism when it is spoken to you?

Are you able to choose to focus on all that is good and let the impact of cynicism slip away?

I am fascinated by words and connotations the impact we leave when we walk away from a conversation. It might be cynicism (an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest; skepticism.) or Sarcasm (the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.) But perhaps sarcasm is a good topic for another night!

Go and be positive in your thoughts, words and actions!

I have friends who are living their bucket list. They are traveling and being intentional about the places they want to visit together. There is something that I so admire in their intentional living. There is something I have decided as I have reflected on the fun they are having.

Now it’s not that my friends are old, but they are a bit older than me! This picture of four years ago allows you to see Richard and Betty, two people I love and admire.

And so, back to my bucket list. I begin to consider what if my years don’t allow me to age with the good health and grace that God has granted Richard and Betty? I have learned through my brother’s death that sometimes life is cut too short too quickly. And yet, I want to live as if I am going to have many more years. It doesn’t seem responsible to enjoy now what feels more appropriate to enjoy after years of working and saving. Realistically, I can not bring many of my dreams to fruition at this season of my life.

But, perhaps there is a different way to approach my bucket list. Surely many of you will remember the Bozo show when they played the bucket game. There was a whole row of buckets lined up. I began to envision what if my bucket list included a whole row of buckets. There is the bucket that starts at age 45 and goes to 50. There is a bucket from 50 to 55 and 55 to 60 and so on….

Every five years I will have an opportunity to identify what I desire to do and what resources I have to allocate towards living the life of enjoyment that my health, time and resources allow. And so as I approach 45 in the coming months, I begin to identify some themes for bucket number 1. I know that bucket number one includes four key areas so far.

Because I have invested much into the redesign and enjoyment of my home, one of the key desires I have between 45 and 50 is to grow in my cooking abilities. I would like to learn and practice and entertain in the enjoyment of my beautiful kitchen. I am eager to learn, practice, enjoy and share in the magnitude of learning I anticipate by having this one of my intentional living bucket list items.

Another area I would like to focus on and enjoy is outdoor activities. I have taken the steps towards the enjoyment of Kayaking, biking and golf. Now perhaps because I am not yet 45 and I have purchased my kayak’s and am looking forward to golf lessons this fall, and am an active biker, I may be adding some new things to this bucket item. But because there are many rivers and trails and I have a super long way to go to get good at golfing, this may be a good place to start. What I am looking forward to the most is the fact that any of these three activities can be done in the enjoyment of others.

My third area of focus in this 5 year bucket is to enjoy at least two significant trips to first time places. I have so enjoyed travels with my parents and my aunt, and anticipate that if all is well, these may be travels I take with them.

And every five-year bucket will hold a commitment to giving something away. Not necessarily in money or things, but in being involved in some fashion in a way that makes a difference. I am not sure yet what that will look like in these first five years.

I wonder what fills your bucket list.

I wonder if you can set some time aside to start living it soon?

I am doing this because I learned through the tragic sudden death of my brother Len that living life today is imperative because we are not promised tomorrow. And if God grants us life for the upcoming tomorrows, may each day honor the miracle of your beating heart, your sense of adventure and your desire to make a difference in the lives of those around you. Here is to you Len…I am living life well in honor of your wild sense of adventure and purpose!