Our hearts are shattered
There were not many other words to put with it one year ago. Len was killed in a car accident, gone, no warning, no good byes…
And we began to wonder how would we live through the next moments, hours and days….
And somehow, in the fog of shock and grief, we put one step in front of the other and moved through a time that felt paralyzing.
It is so hard to believe it was one year ago.
Tonight we gathered
To be together.
To honor Len’s life and
To marvel at God’s presence over the last year.
We can not deny, It has been a difficult journey….
A journey of wondering and searching and struggling with many why questions. Texting often with my sweet sister-in-law and their four kids about the intensity of grief when there are a lot of Dad’s at soccer games or it is prom night and Len would be so proud. Feeling the depth of the ache when they are trying to have a family dinner, but the sting of loss zaps well intended joy. It has been a hard year.
And so tonight, there was 29 of us in a smallish house on Sylvan. We had cheeseburgers, cause Sonta knew that is what her Daddy would have grilled. Len’s memory video Remembering Len looped on and some watched in passing while others stood and watched with intention and purpose. We have learned that everyone grieves differently and there is great kindness in allowing those closest to you the freedom to grieve in their own way. We went to Reeds Lake and sent Chinese lanterns to Len. There were stories shared and laughter and tears were abundant in any given moment, but we shared honest space, and Len’s life was honored. And tonight, in our grief, I believe God was glorified.
We don’t have many answers and we don’t have any magical healing salve, but we have each other and we have learned in this past year, that our hearts have somehow, through God’s grace, gone from shattered to aching. Our family was changed when we lost a member. We do not live every moment in the shadow of death. We laugh, we enjoy each other, we dream, we hope and we ache. Thank you family and friends for journeying with us this past year. God’s provision has been evident through the prayers and participation of His people. We are aching and grateful! We can only imagine but we remember Len with grateful hearts, for the 48 years he was with us!