This morning was the start of routine again after the holidays. I was looking forward to refocusing on my health and wellness goals, getting to the gym, eating my planned meals and snacks, drinking a gallon of water, working on my 2011 Visiting Angels Marketing plan and having a sense of knowing what I am setting out to accomplish and accomplishing it.
About mid day my friend and co-worker Heather received a call that her Grandpa was being taken to Trillium Woods Hospice Home. His condition had changed and it appears that his life expectancy is down to days. I was out and about an hour later and I was passed by two fire engines and an ambulance. This evening I saw a bad accident and I realized the irony of my morning thought that I could plan my day. Of course it is good to have a plan, but I also want to live keenly aware that I entrust each of my days to my Creator.
I want to live intentionally this year, sharing my heart with those I love. I want to say the kind words that offer hope and encouragement. I want to ensure that I say “I am sorry” when I need to, say “I forgive you” when that is important, say “I love you” every day to someone who is dear to me. I want to live with a plan and a vision. I believe God has my days numbered and until He calls me home, I want to live fully, but if he calls me home sooner than later, I don’t want to end life with words not shared. And if he takes someone I love, I want to ensure they also know of my heart for them.
I am praying for those who woke up this morning with a plan and happen to be ending the day in a very different space. Heather lived courageously today, joining her Dad to advocate for and spend time with her Grandpa. She navigated difficult space by leading the way for her children to spend time with their Gramps and to say good-bye in the event he is not living in the morning. I am proud of how she is living in the midst of the pain and I am so touched that her Gramps was alert enough for a short moment to speak his kind words to her.
I hope and pray that each day will have an element of routine, but when my days are met with tragedy or loss, it is my greatest desire to be able to say that I can confront the ache of my heart with a sense of peace because I know, without a doubt, that what may be a mystery to me, is orchestrated by my Lord.