Today is 11 years ago when we buried my oldest brother, Len. It was the most brutal end of the year and the most difficult New Year’s Eve and day.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I don’t enjoy remembering this day, and I don’t ever want to forget it. There is something about the whole experience that is always with me, and life has moved on with such fullness and goodness that it is hard to put words to. Many people have lost family members and people dear to you; I write this tonight to remind you of the importance of remembering. As we close out this 2023, please do not slam the door closed on the hard memories. Hold them with tenderness and set them aside if they are too painful, but I believe there is power in remembering.
Remember what you wish you could forget, journal about it, put words to it with a trusted friend, or perhaps take time to remember occasionally. Perhaps in remembering, you will recognize spaces where something needs to be offered: kindness, apology, grace, understanding…be curious in your remembering…
In remembering Len, I have come to understand the complexity of his life. I have recognized the places I missed speaking into, spaces I wish I would have. I have cherished the laughter we have shared, and I have loved remembering his love of family and his crazy ways. I wonder what life would be if he had lived and grown older with us the last 11 years. I wish I could celebrate him turning 60 this year. But then again, we didn’t even get to celebrate 50!
It is good to remember Len…I am sharing these words from his obituary with you. They are good remembering words that feel like they capture his personality and share our deep love for him!
Len loved to hunt crayfish and play with his children and 17 nieces and nephews. Len graduated from Grand Rapids Christian High School in 1982, enlisted in the United States Navy in 1982, and was nominated by Congressman Harold Sawyer and Senator Levin for admission to the Naval Academy in 1983, from which he graduated in 1987. Len served as a submariner until his retirement as a Commander in 2009. Len enjoyed camping, boating, golfing, and spending time with his wife, children, and extended family. In his own words, “The funeral of an “old man” is not a time for sorrow. Instead, rejoice in the varied color of my life and in the tremendous variety and texture of this family.” Len was deeply loved, sincerely liked, truly unique and will never be forgotten.
Till we meet again, ❤️