Part of my writing project every day of 2021 is not to plan my posts ahead of time. I don’t want this to be a teaching or a preaching blog. I want this to be an honest expression of my heart.
Sometimes I sit in the quiet for 5 minutes, and I start typing, and other nights like tonight, it has been over an hour. Sometimes I think I know where I am going with a thought, but then it comes out different than what I thought.
This process of writing is good for my soul. Tonight has been tough to know what to write about.
- I heard stories today of dear friends with limited access to their loved one in the hospital due to COVID 19. He passed away a few hours later. My heart breaks for them.
- I read news clips of an execution that took place today. There are reports that race played a significant part in his trial. I am almost physically sick by this reality in our world today.
- I read stories of dear people coming out and putting a voice to their stories of gender and identity. I am disrupted to the core that we fight over this issue in the church and do not embrace their stories and freedom.
- I joined weight watchers and am easily overwhelmed by all the information. Just count my food points, one point at a time. 🙂
- I had a bad experience with a local plumbing company. I spoke up and advocated for myself and was treated poorly. It angers me so, and I refuse to turn into the bitch I feel like becoming. In the end, I was clear, disappointed, and paid the bill even though I can’t entirely agree with them. I decided to pay, and I am still angry, and I am glad I did not become ugly.
- We are two days away from the 3rd anniversary of my Dad’s death. My heart is tender. We will gather as a family, and that is always a sweet time.
- We are planning to put flowers at my brother’s grave for Memorial Day. That is always an experience that feels honoring and so sad.
Any one of those bullets could be a blog. Tonight I can not find my way through my thoughts. I invite you into the reality that sometimes life events fill our minds and our hearts.
Lord, hear my jumbled thoughts and words of my heart. Give us courage as your children to make a difference in every way presented to us.
Even in the chaos, Lord, Blessed be Your name!