Journey to my heart….

I have fond memories of our summer vacations out on Spider Lake in Traverse City, Michigan. My sister Arlene, my cousin Alma and I would take the row-boat out together. We found great pleasure in anchoring it at the island and getting out of the teetering boat, having full confidence the anchor would keep the boat from drifting while we went off to explore.

Perhaps it is that memory that compelled me to purchase and hang up my new favorite wall hanging.

I have had many seasons in life when my anchor of hope was replaced with an anchor of fear, despair, confusion…..

As I look back on those times, I not only found that I drifted far off course, I also found the waters to be very rough.

And I begin to marvel how when I have hope as the anchor to my soul, I may drift and at times feel lost in a storm, but my anchor holds firm!

Tonight I wonder what is anchoring your soul….

Are you familiar with what a solid anchor hope is…

Could it be that you once had hope as an anchor and something or someone replaced your solid anchor with one that doesn’t hold quite as firm…

I encourage you to spend some time finding the anchor of hope and invite others to do the same!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 1, 2011, I made a commitment to blog every day in 2011.

As we are moving into November, I am starting to really believe I am going to make it.

Blogging has been a great way to end each day.

Blogging has invited me to be reflective and curious….

Blogging has brought clarity and insight into my thinking…

Blogging has been an act of discipline and a bundle of surprises in the 348 comments….

Blogging has been a very fun way to document my life this past year….

Thank you to the many of you who have joined in this journey. I am not sure who the 29,001 people are who are reading, but I am grateful for the process of discovery and all I have learned along the way.

So, join me for the rest of November and December as I finish the commitment I made way back in January. And in some ways it seems like yesterday!

And now, to ponder if I am going to make the same commitment for 2012….

There are a few pictures and experiences this week that have shaped my perspective as I continue to journey to wellness.

Sometimes I wish the pounds would come off faster, much faster! My weekly goals have been big and are setting me up for weekly disappointment. I need to be focused on the beauty of one pound. This picture is such a good visual reminder that one pound is really worth celebrating!

And then today I celebrated that my new smallest friend Shiloh hit two pounds. Shiloh was born weighing one pound 11 oz on October 17, 2011. She is gaining by the ounces and I am celebrating that every ounce leads to a pound eventually! I marvel and celebrate at the miracle of this little life. As I celebrate and delight in every ounce that dear Shiloh gains, I will also marvel at every ounce I am losing….I think I will start to think, one ounce at a time!

 

And lastly, last night I took 3 of my favorite kids to see The Smurfs. Sweet Isaiah had fallen asleep on the way home, so I carried him from the car and up the stairs. He is about 50 pounds and I realized that last year at this time, I had that much extra weight on this 41-year-old body. I loved carrying Isaiah and remembering how far I have come.

And in the next six months, I hope to find an 100 pound child to carry around…..just to marvel at how much I used to carry every day!

 

I heard the song tonight, You are Beautiful in my Eyes, and have been humming it for the last few hours.

It goes with the picture I found the other day and has me thinking about beauty….

I can clearly remember moments when my friends or family have affirmed my beauty. Sometimes the words were congruent with where I was at and I felt beautiful. More often, it has spoken to what others may see or experience when I am not feeling it so much.

I am curious tonight how often I take the time to affirm someone’s beauty (or handsomeness). I really want my nieces and nephews to fully embrace that their strength and tenderness, their beauty and their handsomeness come from the core of who they are.

I want to be an aunt, a friend or a family member who is taking time to see, appreciate, embrace and celebrate strength and tenderness, beauty and handsomeness.

How about you, who would be blessed to hear you say the words….you are beautiful in my eyes!

Tonight was Journey Group night and again I am challenged to consider new things this week. I have been involved in small group leadership for 16 years and still with every teaching and small group, I walk away with something new to consider.  Tonight we talked about our style of relating and where we may offer our heart and where we may protect our heart. A style of relating is the characteristic manner of both offering and protecting oneself in social interactions.

It was in this lesson many years ago that I began to understand how I Corinthians 13:11 may apply to my life: When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a (wo)man, I did away with childish things.

As I considered the ways I was relating to family and friends, I realized there were places that I was more concerned with protecting my heart than offering my heart. I realized that I thought if I loved someone else, it required them to love me, I lived believing that I didn’t have much substance and so my focus was to keep the attention on others, instead of sharing my own journey.

Now, if you are a regular reader of my blog, you may know that the journey to my heart has been a journey of the last 16 years and on that journey, I can confidently say I am maturing and learning to put childish ways behind, but it is not something that is mastered and forever behind me. It is a choice I must make in my actions and interactions, day after day, again and again.

I have learned relating well to other’s requires me to understand my story and awaken a curiosity about why I relate the way I do.

I have learned the difference between demanding what I long for and asking for what I need.

I have learned my longings are good but demanding that other’s meet them is not so attractive.

I have learned asking for what I need, doesn’t mean I will always receive it.

I have learned  it requires maturity to be honest about my disappointment rather than to give up on asking for what I need.

I have learned not making a decision causes a lot of chaos in the world of others.

I have learned if you don’t like my decision, it doesn’t mean you don’t love me.

I have learned if you don’t like my decision, it doesn’t mean I am wrong.

I have learned it takes maturity for me to consider changing my decisions based on the input of those I trust.

I have learned it is more beneficial if I don’t make your struggles all about me.

I have learned to love another person well is often complicated in some way.

I have learned that I am a complex person and not always easy to love.

I have learned to say” I am sorry” is often enough.

I have learned when I add BUT to my apology, the impact of my words are often diluted.

I have learned my intent is often very different from my impact.

I have learned my impact is what makes the impression on another person.

I have learned to be curious about my relationships.

I have learned that every day I can identify ways I loved others well.

I have learned that every day I can identify ways I have not loved others well.

I have learned that accepting and embracing myself and  those I love, allows me to grow in ways I would never envision. When I am willing to focus more of my energy on living curious, content, honest and at peace, I find it easier to offer my heart to others.

I am thankful for the journey to my heart….it is a journey that has truly freed me to love myself and others well!

To God be the Glory!

 

 

 

I have spent a lot of time in the recent past thinking about HOPE. 

There have been many tragedies to young families in our community…

There are people very near to my heart who are battling cancer….

There is hunger, unemployment and homelessness all around me…

There is a longing for true community, honest relationships and real living…

I wonder what it is you hope for…..

 

Healing

Freedom

Rest

Play

Honesty

Friendship

Relief

I believe hope can be born in very dark places….

I believe hope can be born in the realization of our dreams…

I have learned that to be hopeful does not take away pain or struggling or make life easy. But when Hope is the anchor of my soul, it allows me a different perspective on the valleys and the mountain tops and all the terrain in between.

I have learned that if I have hope, I can be an encouragement to other’s and journey through dark spaces and celebrate bright moments, both in my own life and to others who cross my path!

So, how hopeful are you today? It is my hope that you will dare to hope for hope itself!

 

 

My puppy is almost three years old and today she caught her first squirrel. She was pretty proud and I was pretty freaked out.

I wasn’t sure how to distract her from her prized possession and she was adamant she wanted to bring it in the house.

I finally got Dutch in the house, without the squirrel and then I, in my foolish state, locked the slider and told Dutch she wasn’t going out there again until the squirrel was gone. I was unsure of what I was going to do to make this happen.

Tonight I am very thankful for my neighbor who sent me the following message:

Squirrel is disposed of. Double bagged and in your garbage. I don’t think it will smell too bad with the cool temps.

One day a few years back, Dutch was skunked and still today, every morning when she goes out in the dark, I take a deep sniff to ensure she has not encountered this dreaded animal.

Now, with my back yard being like a squirrel playground, I will likely look to ensure there is no tail hanging out the side of her mouth as she grins at me.

I am thankful tonight for wonderful neighbors who help me through this difficult experiences of dog ownership. I would like to think I might grow in bravery, but I believe I would rather grow in fondness of Jason and Erin. You guys are the best!

I have been noticing on Facebook how easy it is for some to post frequently about their hardships. I am all for honest and open sharing, but I sometimes wonder if Facebook is a misuse of sharing our struggles. When someone posts frequently about their hardships, I want to encourage them to find a support system of real people AND practice kindness. I have learned that when I struggle to find something joyful or inspiring to share, it is time for me to look outside myself and give myself away….

I found a great little box of cards that are called Practice kindness cards. I would like to share one with you tonight….

The effect of one good-hearted person is incalcuable…Oscar Arias

So, I would like to encourage you to be one good-hearted person. Do something simple that brings joy to another….

I have learned that it doesn’t have to be big nor cost any money….be creative and have fun reaching out to someone else.

It is my hope that each of us will take time to practice kindness and in return each of us will experience deep and lasting delight (and some perspective) that will carry us through our own difficult times!

 

It is almost November and one thing I know about November is that it is No Shave November. 

November is the month men grow their mustaches as they raise awareness for prostate cancer. The movement began in 2003, inspired by breast cancer awareness efforts, and has grown into a worldwide phenomenon, sprouting ‘staches across all seven continents and raising $42 million last year. Women often participate as well by letting the stubble grow out and join in the awareness for prostate cancer, as many men support the awareness of breast cancer.

And so I got to thinking about November and growth and I decided I am also going to focus on growth in certain areas of my life during the month of November.

I am planning to grow my hair out into a new style….November will be the month I get past the crazy making stages and let my hair grow instead of changing my mind because it gets difficult!

I am planning to grow my cardio endurance. I will be committing to rigid sleep and wake up times so that I can grow my endurance by getting to the gym every morning for cardio. I plan to do this as an add-on to my daily schedule I currently have in place.

I am planning to focus less on loss and more on growth. I am planning to focus on my routine and discipline and choices. I am planning to take November one day at a time and see if I can get closer to my goals than I am at the end of October. Every day is a new invitation to change and grow and for that I am grateful. I have worked out hard in October, but lost sight that wellness is not just about hours in the gym. It is about rest and cardio and play and pushing myself to new levels….oh yes and not quitting when things get difficult, and that difficult might be in hair length, food choices or breaths per minutes. Here is to a November full of growth and awareness!

 

 

Remember the fun of finding a place that echo’s….

I loved riding my bike through a tunnel when I was younger and it seemed as if I could have stayed there for hours calling out and hearing the words bounce back…..

And then I begin to think about the echo in context of this question: What we do now echoes for eternity…what will.your echo sound like?

I know that I hope my echo includes being advocate, passionate and compassionate. I also want my echo to include that people are more important than things and tasks and that relationships are hard work and well worth working at. Somehow also woven into that echo are the words kindness to self and others and curiosity creates a delightful mystery in living.

Hmm, that is not such a crisp echo, but it is what flows from my heart tonight. Of course I want my echo to resonate my faith, but I don’t want the echo of my faith to push people away (believers or unbelievers), but rather invite people in, so our echo’s can mix and create a unique echo which glorifies my Maker.

And so, I wonder what the echo of your life is. If you were riding through the tunnel, what message would bounce back for your ears to hear. Every day holds opportunity to ensure our echo is as we desire. Live well and enjoy the echo!