Why do I blog….
I blog because my family has a story.
I have a story…
Each of us have our own story…
And together we have a story….
Each year I print my blogs and I save them in a hard cover book…
I enjoy looking back and remembering the places we have been.
When I take time to reflect I see God’s grace and goodness and I see the heartache and sorrow. But through it all I see how our story unfolds down twisted paths and deep valleys and into beautiful spaces where we share life.
Our story is unique to us as yours is unique to your family. I want to be a writer and lover of story. I want to document the journey of our family so that in years ahead, when I am much older and my nieces and nephews are parents and grandparents, there will be a place to look back and remember, a space to reflect on all our family story holds.
And so today I share the following that Olivia wrote because I want to document this in our family story. It speaks of honesty, grief, sorrow and healing. It speaks about how life does go on and yet hearts ache. It speaks of love, laughter, family, courage and life.
“Perhaps, as those who do not turn to God in petty trials will have no habit or such to resort to help them when they great trials come, so those who have not learned to ask Him for childish things will have less readiness to ask Him for great ones. We must not be too high-minded. I fancy we may sometimes be deterred from small prayers by a sense of our own dignity rather than of God’s.” C.S. Lewis
Today marks two years without ya and wow.. since you’ve been gone, I have experienced by far the lowest days I’ve ever lived through, sometimes I never even knew I was capable of being so impossibly broken. There were a lot of bad days, days where I was a bitch, and a lot of bad nights, nights when I felt alone. There was a lot of stuff that went on, you missed my junior year of basketball then soccer but looks like youre gonna miss my senior year too (lol duh) but it’s not all bad because now I have someone’s name to write on my cleats, someone to play for, someone to keep in mind when the ref makes a bad call and I want to talk back. I don’t actually really think about you that often during the game, I don’t think about anyone really, but I always think of you during the national anthem. You were the man and I miss you. I miss you today and tomorrow and yesterday. I miss your dad jokes and your regularly bad breath. I miss your presence in the house, just having a male around. But I’m happy, dad. God has had our family’s back through the whole lot of this. It hasn’t been an easy two years but realistically, we have a house full of hormones, high school and homework- it could have gone wrong had you been here or not. I’m really glad you introduced me to a Father who would take care of me even once you left. I hope they throw you a “you’ve been here for 2 years!!!” party in Heaven and they serve lasagna and some soup with 18 different spices in it. We’ll probably just have pizza tonight. But dad, I’m happy with pizza.
I can only sit and read…. But I can hardly see….
I am speechless and that says it all! Christmas blessings, lots of love and a big Texas hug! b
What wisdom! Thank you for sharing your journey!