I feel the ache of grief tonight…
Not a lot of words to put with it, just a deep feeling that keeps washing over me….
I have had some very touching text conversations today with my sister-in-law and my niece. They are honest and painful. They speak to the great loss of a husband and a father. They speak to the void that was created in their life on a Sunday night not so long ago and how every day they realize it will not be filled by anyone or anything, for Len was unique, creative, crazy and fun (and funny). As we say, in his living he had a big presence and so in his dying he leaves a big absence.
Maybe it was Olivia’s tweet on twitter yesterday: Wishing I could call my dad and tell him about passing my road test#bittersweet
Perhaps it was my sister-in-laws words of “so many unfinished dreams….”
Perhaps it is my longing to tell him what great kids he has or ask him about the Tiger game we go to each year….
Regardless of what it is, it is hard to journey grief….
I am thankful for my family, friends and community who are so kind to me as each day comes and goes…
I am thankful that we as a family talk about Len and laugh and cry together.
This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.
I find truth and hope in the following quote:
Grieving is as natural as crying when you are hurt, sleeping when you are tired, eating when you are hungry, or sneezing when your nose itches.
It’s nature’s way of mending a broken heart.
My heart was shattered on that night of December 23, 2012.
I believe my heart will heal and time will change the ache, but that being said, tonight is still hard….
And so as I drift off to sleep, remembering my brother, I am thankful that even in the pit of grief, hope anchors my soul!
Yes, hope is our only anchor. And learning to live with our grief and still actually live is hard work. But not impossible. It takes so much time…..
My heart aches for you. Praying!